Better As A Memory
by simplyaprillyn
Summary: Your first love is always going to be the best story. The story that you'll always remember and cling onto for the rest of your life. It's sweet and sour and takes you on an adventure like no other. AU. Jax/OC
1. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

"_Twenty years from now, you will be more dissapointed by the things that you didn't do than by the things that you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover,"—_H. Jackson Brown Jr., 'P.S. I Love You'. 

Love is one of life's most precious gifts. One of many, actually. Love has the strength to accomplish some very powerful tasks. It can change a person's (or perspective of) life in the simplest terms of the word. Especially first loves. First loves are the greatest. They're the kind that sting like a bee and grip you to the end, but are as sweet as a flower and hold onto your heart for forever. Even if they can be the most heartbreaking, everyone share's a story of their first love. Although they might not hold the same memories or experiences, it's still a good story. Like all good stories, each has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Some of those loves end for a reson, however. Whatever that reason is, you soon learn that the relationship was meant to come to an end. And this first love story is unlike any other—because this one is my story. The story of the pure and innocent girl, and her bad-ass and charming biker boyfriend. The story of their life, their love, and their heartbreak all rolled into one.

_**Charming, California; June (1985)**_

_Charming, California was a small town that sat in the county of the San Joaquin Valley in the Northern part of the state. It was home to more than 10,000 people—with some folks coming and going simply as they pleased. Charming's name said it all, quite frankly. It was one of the smallest towns in all of California, and one where everyone knew everyone's name—and, business. Gossip made it's way through this town, much like the sound of roaring Harley's on this glorious Saturday afternoon. I was seven the first time I stepped foot in the town that would change the rest of my life. Moving was something that I was used to. And, quite frankly, I didn't mind it much anymore. My father worked as a news anchor and was always being re-located to new cities to help bring their stations back to life. _

_We'd moved eight times in the past three years. My mom never bothered to look for a job because she knew as soon as she was with a career that she enjoyed, we would have to pack up our current life and move onto a new one. And, personally, I didn't bother making too many friends because, well it was the 80s and I was never going to keep in contact with them once I moved anyway. _

_We arrived in Charming on June 19__th__—a date that stood out amoungst others in my head and in my heart. My family and I had just moved from Phoenix, Arizona—one of the most beautiful places that I have ever had the opportunity to live in. We knew it was "home" as soon as soon as my dad's Chevy pulled into our new elongated driveway. My seventeen year old brother, Colton, soon followed in pursuit with his Nisaan and the UHaul truck was being driven by my twenty year old sister-in-law, Alyssa with my brother—twenty-one year old Braison as her passanger. _

_My dad stepped out of the car first. He stretched, and following that was a loud and obnoxious yawn. "Alright, guys! Let's get to work!"_

_Amoungst my brothers you could hear deep sighs. We hated unpacking. It was the utmost, worst part about moving. _

"_Arabella, sweetie, wake up," my mom came into the backseat to retrieve me. I was faking being asleep, thinking this would get me out of unloading things off of the U-Haul truck. I was the smallest out of everyone and never a big help anyway. She confiscated the teddy bear that I was holding out of hands, as I rubbed my green eyes. "We have to unpack, baby girl,"_

"_No," I told her, as I let out a small yawn._

_My mom laughed. "We'll be done in no time, I promise," _

"_Awe! There's my angel," Colton exclaimed, as he stuck his head into the backseat. I unbuckled my seat belt as he picked me up and set me on his broad shoulders. _

"_Colton, she's 7, not 4," my mom reminded him. Colton shrugged as we made our way up to the top step of our sandstone porch. The 'SOLD' sign was still placed in the front yard. My dad dug for the new set of house keys in the pocket of his sweat pants, and opened up the door. The inside of the house was absolutely gorgeous. 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a huge kitchen with a dining room in tow, a living room, attic, sunroom and basement. Connected to the kitchen were a pair of sliding glass doors, which led outside to the deck, pool, and patio. This was much nicer than our house in Arizona. Being seven though, however, all I could think about was getting lost in here._

_As my brothers and sister took a tour around the house, I plopped myself right on the hardwood floor of the living room._

"_So, it needs some work but we can do this, right?"_

"_It's only the eighth time, right?" my mom said displeasingly._

_My dad chuckled, then wrapped my mom in his arms. "We're staying here, for a long time honey. I promise you. Charming is our new home,"_

"_Are you sure?"_

_My dad kissed her softly on the lips. "I'm sure. Welcome home, honey,"_


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

"_Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle,"—_Plato

_Around 4:30 that afternoon, we'd really started getting down to the nitty gritty of unloading the U-Haul truck. My dad had just finished loading a small table lamp into my hands as the forceful click-clack of heels made their way up to the top of the driveway. _

"_Hello," my father was the first one to turn around and face the woman, as we heard the sound of her voice. She stood about 5'8 or so in her black spiked high heel boots and had a very tan complexion to her face. She wore a black leather jacket paired with denim jeans and a white tank top. A tattoo of what appeared to be a crow sat just above her right breast. She had dark black hair with straight bangs, which were curled under and sat straight across her forehead. In her arms, she swaddled a baby, wrapped in a sky blue blanket. On her right arm must have been her husband. 6'0—give or take. He, like his wife, had dark black hair—his wasn't much shorter than hers was. He had some scruff on his chin and above his lip. He wore a black leather cut over his white t-shirt. Unlike her leather attire, his stood out. On the left side sat two patches—one that read 'President' and one that read 'First 9'. On the right hand side was a patch that read 'Redwood Original'. None of these, at this moment in time were of importance to me, so I shrugged it off and just thought they looked really cool. The cut and t-shirt were paired with a pair of leather pants and boots. In front of the man stood a boy that looked to be about my age. He had short, bleach blonde hair and dark blue eyes, with a widespread smile across his face. "I'm Gemma Teller. This is my husband John and our sons Thomas and Jackson," the woman said, as she introduced her family to us._

"_Dennis," my dad was the first to stick his hand out. John took the offer right away and shook it back. "This is my wife Sarah, and our daughter Arabella. The tall brunette boy is Colton and the blonde is Braison. My daughter-in-law is somewhere inside of the house," my dad explained to them. _

"_Nice to meet you folks," John told us. _

"_We just wanted to pop over and introduce ourselves, seeing as how you guys are new to the neighborhood," Gemma explained._

"_We appreciate it," my mom told her. "It's nice to meet you guys,"_

"_We live right next door!" the little boy spoke up._

"_Is that right? Looks like you'll have someone to play with, Ara," my mom chuckled._

"_Maybe the kids could have a play date tonight. You'll have to take a break and eat eventually, too. We're cooking a huge pasta dinner tonight and would love to have you guys,"_

"_We don't want to intrude," my dad told John._

"_You're fine, trust me. The more the merrier," John smiled at him. I loved John. His personality and the way he spoke to people made me think that they at least had some respect. His attitude towards us was a lot better than Gemma's. _

"_Sure," my dad shrugged his shoulders and looked at my mom._

"_Cool, say 7:30 or so?"_

"_Sounds great! See you guys then," my mom said, as the Teller family began to make their way down the driveway._

"_Welcome to the neighborhood," Gemma said in a condescending tone, as she cocked her head back around to have the final words of the conversation._

_Around 7:30, we began to make our way down to our next door neighbor's house. It was a short walk, and when we reached the head of the driveway, we weren't too surprised at what we saw. A group of Harley Davidson Motorcycles lined the driveway. They were some of the most beautiful bikes I'd ever seen in my entire seven years of life. Braison and Colton were both into bikes and had their license. Neither of them had the money, however to buy a Harley. _

"_Holy shit. These bikes are gorgeous," I was waiting for one of them to open up their mouths and say this sentence. _

"_Baby," Braison started. "As soon as we get settled here, we're getting a bike,"_

"_How about we get a house first?" Alyssa smiled at him._

"_Fine. House, then bike," Alyssa rolled her eyes and abruptly kissed him on the lips. We made our way up their front steps to the front door. My mom took charge in ringing the doorbell and of course, Gemma answered. _

"_Hey guys, come on in," _

_My mom handed her the aluminum foil pan that sat in her hands._

"_Sarah, you didn't have to make anything,"_

"_I didn't. Dominos did," my mom smiled at her. My mom was usually really good about cooking, and not coming empty-handed over other people's houses. I loved that about her. But, seeing as how we didn't even have anything in the fridge yet, my mom's logical explanation was to call the nearest pizza place and order a salad. Gemma smiled at her humor as we all piled into the living room. _

"_Those are some beautiful bikes you have outside, ma'am," Colton spoke up._

_Gemma rolled her eyes. "They're my husband's and his friends," she heard the clinging of shot glasses come together and a loud roar of laughter. "The guys are in the kitchen if you want to go tell them yourselves. You know, about the bikes,"_

_Colton and Braison smiled and made their way into the kitchen. "Dennis, Alyssa and Sarah, you guys can come with me into the kitchen, too to meet everyone," Gemma said, as my mom, dad and Alyssa began to follow her. I wasn't dumb. The guys were in the kitchen throwing back a few beers and maybe smoking a joint or two while my mom, dad and Alyssa were finishing up making dinner. And, I was about to be stuck in here with some stupid boy._

"_Arabella, stay in the living room, okay baby?" my mom asked me, kissing my forehead. I nodded my head and took a seat on the crème colored carpeting. Jackson sat on the couch, completely glued to the television. Peter Pan was on, and as much as I loved this movie, I was bored with the fact that I was over here without any of my toys that I normally played with. I began playing with the French braid going down to back of my brunette hair._

"_You can sit on the couch, you know. I don't have cooties," he told me, as he took his eyes off the television. Without a word, I moved myself up to the last cushion of their brown leather sofa. Jackson sat on the first one. _

"_What's your name?" he asked me, without taking his eyes off of the television._

"_Arabella Nevaeh Springsteen. What's yours?"_

"_Jackson Teller. But everyone calls me Jax,"_

"_Who's everyone?"_

"_My mom, my dad and their best friends,"_

"_Oh," I replied. "That's cool,"_

"_How old are you?"_

"_Seven," I said._

"_Me too!" he told me. _

"_Do you like Peter Pan?" without realizing it, we were playing 20 Questions: The Version for 7 Year-Olds. _

"_It's my favorite movie ever!" he put emphasize on the word 'ever'. "What's yours?"_

"_Beauty and The Beast," I started. "I was Belle for Halloween last year," I sat up straight._

"_Yuck! That's a girl movie!" Jax said, putting emphasize on the word 'girl'. _

"_And Peter Pan is a dumb boy movie!" I told him, as I turned my body away from his. My back was now facing the front part of his body as I crossed my arms over my chest. _

"_You're really pretty," Jax told me, as he let out a small giggle. _

"_Thanks. So are you," I told him. I turned back around and faced him. Uncrossing my arms, I smiled right at that boy and looked deep into his blue eyes. _

"_We can watch Beauty and the Beast next, okay Bella?" No one had ever called me Bella before. Up until that point, I'd either been known as Ara or my full name. Was that going to be what Jax Teller would call me from now on? _

"_Okay Jax. Thank you," I told him. I think that was the exact day that I knew I could never leave Charming. I could never leave Jax. We were going to be best friends for the rest of our lives, no matter what. And, you just can't leave your best friend behind, can you?_


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

"_High school is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless."—_John Mayer

_**September, 1992**_

_ That summer, like many others that Jax and I had experienced together flew by. We finished off the rest of elementary school, then middle school together. Braison and Colton had both moved out and on with their lives. Braison and Allison became parents to a beautiful baby boy in December of 1989. Almost a year later, Jax experienced the first of many tragedies in his life. He lost his brother, Thomas. He was six years old._

_ It was sudden—very slow, dragging on for three gruesome days. It was caused by the same heart condition that both Gemma and Jax have. Gemma felt at fault everyday—John just wanted to get the hell away from it all. We'd been seeing a lot less of him these past two years. Clay had begun helping Gemma out a lot with taking care of Jax. He wasn't John, but he was the closest thing that Jax had to a dad right now. He and Gemma had both opened up their house to my brothers and I. They even gave my brothers the same looking leather cuts—which was rather nice of them. On the back read "Sons of Anarchy California" with the emblem of a grim reaper. We weren't allowed to know much more other than the fact that it was just a club, with a great set of guys who loved to drink, smoke and ride their Harleys. I guess this was one of the things that sucked about being fourteen years old—you didn't know anything about stuff you shouldn't know about._

_ And, Jax and I? We'd been through everything together. I loved that boy with all of my heart, and were essentially best friends. The guys in the club—mostly Tig, but sometimes Bobby, too—called me Jax's old lady. I didn't know what that meant either, so I didn't know whether to think it was good or bad. A lot of the times I shrugged it off, because I knew they were just playing with me. No one—or anything—was ever going to come between Jax and I. We were inseparable. _

_ "I don't understand how the hell I got stuck chauffeuring you guys to school," it was our first day at Charming High—a moment that we'd waited all last year for. One of JT's best friends and first 9 members of SAMCRO—Piney—was given the task of taking his son Opie, Jax and myself all the way on the other side of town. Opie had become one of our good friends—and, Jax's best guy friend. It didn't bother me much. He told OP stuff he could never tell me. Guy stuff, ya know? And, vice versa. _

_ "We appreciate it, Piney," I told him, as he pulled into the parking lot of the school._

_ "We'll be driving soon," Opie told his dad._

_ "Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say," Piney joked, as we all piled out of the car._

_ "Are you guys walking home afterwards?"_

_ OP and Jax both looked at each other. I knew they wanted to walk home so that they could have the chance to smoke. It didn't bother me much at all. _

_ "Sure," Jax told him._

_ "Alright. I'll see you guys back at the clubhouse after school. Have fun in hell, kids," Piney began to make his way out of the parking lot, as we looked up at the four story building. The only thing I had to look forward to after school was over was going to Teller-Morrow towing. Gemma watched me after school until around 6 or so, when my mom got off of work. She'd started working full time at St. Thomas Hospital as a pharmaceutical representative. I loved going there, because I got to see all of the guys—including my brothers._

_ "Let's just get this fucking day over with, okay?" Jax said under his breath._

_ "I haven't even stepped in yet and I already want a smoke," _

_ We all sighed, as we began the dreadful walk to what would be our prison for the next four years. All incoming freshman were instructed to go to the cafeteria to pick up their schedules. There were tables with the first letters of our last names printed on them. We grabbed them from the teachers working the tables, amidst all of the "Welcome to Charming High!" coming from each of them. _

_ OP, Jax and I compared our schedules side by side to one-another. We were all in the same homeroom, meaning there probably weren't that many kids in our freshman class, since our last names were pretty far apart from one-another. Then, we had algebra I, world history, and English together 2__nd__ through 4__th__ period. Opie and Jax then had introduction to mechanical engineering, physical science, then Spanish I. I had choir I, Latin, then physical science. I'd always done really well in school, so I was excited for my classes this year. Especially choir._

_ The bell let out it's chorus of rings as we made our way to room 202 for homeroom. As we all piled in and took a seat, the teacher introduced himself as Mr. Sveck, making sure to write it on the board so that we didn't forget. OP sat in front of me, with Jax on my right side. Opie was 6'1 and a half and had real long, dirty blonde hair. I couldn't see anything unless I cocked my head to the side. This was a good thing though because Mr. Sveck reminded me of Bob Saget—and not in a good way, either. _

_ Under his name, he wrote the number 30. Oh lord. What could that mean?_

_ "Welcome, class of 1996 to your first day of freshman year," our homeroom was soon filled with hollering and screaming, with some people even chanting '96, 96!' out loud. He let the commotion settle down, before speaking again. "My name is Mr. Sveck and this year we will be taking this educational journey together with me as your pilot," I really hope I didn't have him as a teacher for any more of my classes. Opie let out a small chuckle. "In order to graduate from Charming High School, you need 30 credits,"_

_ "Holy shit," I said under my breath, making sure he didn't hear me. I didn't love school that much to earn 30 credits._

_ "The state of California, by law says that you must complete 4 credits of math, science, English and history, followed by 2 credits of foreign language and career path classes, 6 elective credits, a freshman and senior seminar class, and one gym and one health credit," the class was quiet after this. We didn't know what to say. They never told any of us this last year. "Your classes switch off every semester, except for your core classes. The classes go for 80 minutes each, except homeroom and lunch, which are both a total of 30 minutes," he kept rambling on and on about shit that we really didn't care to know about. "You start school at 8 and get out at 3—unless you play sports or are involved in any extracurricular activities," "You must be here every day. The world is changing and soon, you really won't be able to do anything without a high school diploma,"_

_ "Is it too late to drop out now?" Jax asked me. I laughed. He was looking rather—older, I would say—today. His blonde hair was long like Opie's was. It was slicked back, and he wore a black t-shirt and a pair of denim blue jeans, paired with Converse. His blue eyes had a certain twinkle about them, and it didn't know if it was because he was pissed, or missing his brother or his dad. _

_ "How many of you are planning on going to college?"_

_ I raised my hand, and so did half of my homeroom class. I stared at both Jax and Opie, until they raised their hands. Both of them, whether they liked it or not were going to college. _

_ "You think you'll have homework tonight?" Jax asked me, as Svecky kept rambling on about college. _

_ "Fuck, I hope not," _

_ "We should hang out at my place after we get back from the club house. Maybe we could rent a movie or something?"_

_ I nodded my head. "Sure. That sounds good,"_

_ "You want to invite Opie?" I asked, pointing at the back of his gray zip-up hoodie._

_ "No. I really would just rather it be me and you," for some reason, when Jax said this, it sent chills down my spine. Just me and him? Oh Lord. I was fine with it, of course—actually, pretty happy. It hasn't been just me and him in a long time._

_ "I'll have Gemma drive us to the video store on our way home,"_

_ "Okay," I replied back. This was going to be a long year. And, I was nowhere near ready for it._

**A/N: I just wanted to say a quick thank you for all of the reviews and follows on this story. I'm new to the SOA fandom, and it means a lot to me for your guys' support. Stay tuned, because there's so much more to come! I'm going to try (really, really hard) to update as often as possible with school and work taking over my life—maybe every two days or so? Thanks again! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. In the next couple of them, there's gonna be a lot of major stuff going on. Are you ready?!**

**-April**


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

"_Well, sometimes the tree grows too fast and the roots don't develop. And sometimes you have to chop off the top of that tree to let the roots catch up"—_Molly McClure; 'Pure Country'

_School went by really fast that day. This was surprising, yet exciting, because I got to head out to one of the places that I loved the most. I didn't seem to have a problem with any of my classes. However, Svecky was my Latin teacher, which meant 80 more minutes of hell for me to endure each day. I met up with the boys in the courtyard following the dismissal bell. Opie opened up his pack of Marlboro's as Jax and he both took one. Jax grabbed his lighter from the pocket of his jeans, and Opie offered me a cigarette. I quickly turned it down._

"_You know I don't smoke," I told both of them, as we began our walk to Teller-Morrow towing garage. _

"_Have you ever even tried a cigarette? Just one little drag?" Opie asked me, as we crossed the street. _

"_Nope!" I told them both._

"_Aw shit, Jax. Your old lady is innocent,"_

"_Shut up, OP," Jax told him. "Do you at least want to try one?"_

_I'll have to admit, I was a little curious about what they tasted like—and why Opie and Jax were always trying to sneak out to go have one. What about them were so satisfying and craving to the taste? They smelt like dirt. They probably tasted like it, too._

_I couldn't make it a habit. To be a singer, you had to have smoke-free lungs and I kind of wanted to keep it that way. I'd been singing and performing since I was a little girl—I was considering it a career path. Maybe not singing professionally, but maybe being a music education teacher?_

_Jax shoved the pack back in my face. I couldn't say no to him. Especially the face he was giving me right now. It was just the perfect mix of mysterious and sultry. Whoa, wait a minute. Sultry? Since when did I think he was sultry? _

_I grabbed one from the pack. "The brown part goes in your mouth," OP reminded me, as him and Jax started laughing. _

"_Haha, you guys are hilarious," Jax lit the white end for me. _

"_Suck the smoke in, then blow it out," I guess I didn't hear him in time, because I sucked all of the smoke in and started coughing aloud. This caused Opie and Jax to laugh even louder than they did before._

"_It's not funny! I'm not used to shit like this," _

"_You've got to finish it," Jax told me, trying to hide the laughter in his voice._

"_Fuck," I replied, as I took another drag off of it. I continued to cough. "Jackson Kyle, are you going to take this from me?"_

"_No, he's not,"_

"_Jax can speak for himself, OP," I said, taking another drag. I didn't cough this time, and surprisingly, it started tasting a little more appealing. Jax's eyes focused on me, as we crossed into the driveway of Teller-Morrow._

"_Stomp on it," Jax told me, as I threw the lit cigarette down on the ground and stomped on it with my black Mary Janes. The boys followed, as we entered into the main part of the garage. Some of the guys were working on cars, some on bikes. We said hi to them as we made our way into the main part of the building, known as the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse._

_Tig, Bobby and Clay all sat at the bar, laughing and talking about God knows what. As we approached them, Jax whispered in my ear that they needed to have me try weed next. Nice try, Teller._

"_Hey nerds, how was school?" Tig asked us, as I made my round with hugs and the infamous kisses on the cheeks from the guys._

"_Boring as hell," Jax said, throwing his school bag down on the couch. "Anyone heard from my dad?"_

"_No. Sorry," Clay told him, taking a sip of his Miller Lite. _

_I could see the disappointment in his eyes as I took a seat next to him. Gemma soon joined us, and asked us the same question about school._

"_Fine," was all Jax had to say. "I'm gonna go on a walk. I'll be back,"_

_I knew exactly where Jax was going. And, I knew I had to get up and follow. _

_ Charming Cemetery was a mile away on foot. Although I'd been here just about a million times to see Thomas, each one was more painful than the next._

_ "You didn't have to follow me here,"_

_ "Yes I did," I told him, as I sat down in the grass next to Thomas' headstone. The grass was still a little damp from the sprinklers that were run earlier that afternoon. It didn't matter to me that my white jeans would be full of grass stains as soon as I stood up. Jax grabbed onto my hand, as we said a small prayer. Jackson Teller wasn't really a man of God, but when it came down to his family, he would do anything to protect him. _

_ "I miss you so much, bro," was all that he could manage to say, before letting tears fall from his eyes. I could tell that this was hard for him. Most deaths were. And, I knew that I'd be just like this if one of my brothers passed away._

_ I didn't know what to say or what to do. I scooted closer to him and began to rub his back for comfort. "Do you remember the night we all stayed at the clubhouse? It was Christmas Eve and it just snowed one of the worst blizzards that California has ever seen,"_

_ Jackson wiped the tears away from his eyes with the back of his hands. "Yeah,"_

_ "Your dad was drinking Jack Daniels out of one of the big mason jars and Thomas was sitting on his lap. Clay was just joking with him and told Tommy that it was soda pop and he took the biggest gulp,"_

_ He laughed louder than I'd heard him laugh all day. "Yeah. Oh man, I remember that night,"_

_ "I know you miss him. And, I know you miss your dad. But he's gonna come back. He's gonna get his shit together and come back home, Jax. I promise you. He loves you guys,"_

_ "Yeah? Well he sure as fuck isn't showing it,"_

_ I sighed, as he gripped my hand tighter. "I know,"_

_ We were silent for a few more moments. "Thank you," was all he managed to say after that. After he couldn't cry anymore, he managed to say thank you again._

_ "Anytime," I said. He helped me up, and grabbed my hand again. Holding hands was definitely a first for us. "You know, next time we come here, we should probably bring some flowers," _

_ "Absolutely," _

_ "One movie guys. That's it, okay? I'm not getting yelled at by the news anchor for not having his daughter home in time," after dinner was over, Gemma reluctantly drove us to the nearest video store. _

_ "You can pick, Bella," Jax said, as he gripped onto my hand again. What the fuck was up with this?!_

_ "Um, okay," I replied, making my way over to the romantic comedies. Hey, if I was picking the movie, I was going to pick a good movie._

_ I saw one that caught my eye. George Strait was on the front cover. Living mostly in the south my entire life, George was a king in my household. Jax couldn't stand country music, so this would be fantastic to annoy him with. It was titled 'Pure Country' and I really wanted to watch it._

_ "Bella," was all Jax could say before looking right into my hazel eyes._

_ "What?" I smiled at him._

_ "I mean, I guess," he told me. _

_ "See, this is why you shouldn't let me pick the movie," I said. He gripped my hand tighter, as we made our way back over by Gemma. She had an old 80's movie picked out and could only roll her eyes at the movie that we had chosen._

_ Jax picked up a box of Goobers and I stuck to Buncha Crunch. We threw our candy up there, along with the movies. _

_ "Date night?" the cashier asked us, as we made our way over by the exit. Gemma looked over only to see that her son's hand was intertwined in mine._

_ "I think so," Gemma replied, as she grabbed her wallet and paid for our items. The cashier explained the return policy to us and we made our way out of the store. "You know, you better keep your hands to yourself. It makes people think you're dating," Jax looked at his mom and quickly took our hands apart from one-another, his face too red to do anything else._

_ Gemma, Jackson and I were settled back at the house in a matter of minutes. Gemma stuck Jackson and I on the couch in the living room, while her and Clay watched their movie upstairs. Clay needed a place to crash for the night and Gemma told us that she owed him big time for the help that he's been around the house. The living room was fine with me—Jax and I had a history of movie watching in here. _

_ The VHS player was set with glasses of Pepsi, a bowl of popcorn and boxes of candy were laid out on the table in front of us. It seemed like any normal Teller movie night to me. _

_ Gemma gave us both a blanket to use in case we got cold. I'd changed out of my school attire and into a pair of sweat pants and an REO Speedwagon band t-shirt—normal night time attire on my behalf. As the opening song of the movie started, Jax rolled his eyes. I was seated on the last seat of the couch, with him on the first. "Come sit by me," he had a sort of puppy dog look about his persona right now. He looked, well, hot. Why tonight? Why?_

_ I managed to scoot closer to him. He yawned and put his arm around me. "Smooth move, Teller,"_

_ "Thanks. I try," he told me. _

_ I chuckled, as he pulled me closer to his chest. Chills started coming down my spine, and butterflies danced throughout my stomach._

_ The movie drug on for a mere two hours or so. I was astounded at how into it Jax was—the smart comments he was making to the TV screen, laughing at the jokes in the movie. When the final song came on, I couldn't believe how beautiful it was._

_ "We should have a song," I don't know where on earth that came from, but it slipped through my lips._

_ "Oh, really?" Jax turned to me. "This song?"_

_ "Sure. I mean, it's pretty enough,"_

_ "Arabella, you don't pick a song because it's pretty. You pick a song because it has meaning. You're a singer. You should know this,"_

_ "I know, I know,"_

_ "You know, a lot of couples can say that something happened during their songs. Like, their first dance, or the first time they met. What can we say happened during this?"_

_ "Oh, so you're calling us a couple now?"_

_ "No, I was just…" Jackson started._

_ "Hypothetically speaking?"_

_ "Yes!" he exclaimed, as he put his arm back around me. After a moment, he unraveled me from his grip. He moved my brunette hair from my eyes, and looked right into them. "We could say this happened during it, Bella,"_

_ "Jax," were the last words I managed to put into the conversation._

_ "Hold still," he began to lean in, as his eyes closed. Mine did, too. I know exactly what was coming next. This would be our first kiss. The kiss that I would remember for the rest of my life. The kiss that I would one day tell my children about. The most important kiss—next to my first kiss as a bride—that I would ever experience. And, it was with Jackson Kyle Teller; the guy that I had dreamed about kissing for years. _

_ I'm not ashamed to admit it whatsoever. However, I am ashamed to admit the next thing that we heard, as soon as our lips were about to touch._

_ "Your movie over?" Clay asked us. Come on, dude. Really? He looked at us with a grin on his face._

_ "Uh, yeah. It just ended," Jax said, shutting the TV off._

_ "Was it good?" Clay asked, still with that stupid grin on his face._

_ "Yeah. It was good," _

_ He cleared his throat. "Your mom wanted me to come down and tell you to walk Arabella home,"_

_ "Alright," Jackson threw the comforter off of himself, dragging mine along with it._

_ "Night, Clay. Tell Gemma thanks for having me over,"_

_ "No problem," Clay said, as we began to make our way out the door. "Night, sweetheart,"_

_ Jackson and I were silent until we reached my porch. _

_ "Let's just drop what went on tonight, okay?" _

_ I nodded my head, as he stepped down and walked back home. _

_ "How was movie night?" my mom asked, as she looked up from the book she was reading. It was just past 10 o'clock—my dad should be coming home within the next two hours. He was moved from morning news anchor to night news anchor this past spring. Apparently, it was a promotion. But, I'm not too sure how._

_ "It was fine. I have some homework, so I'm gonna head up to bed," I said, making my way over to the recliner. I gave my mom a kiss on her forehead._

_ "Night baby," she told me. _

_ I stomped all the way up the winding staircase that led to my room on the second floor. It was on the right hand side and closest to my mom and dad's room. It'd been that way since I was little, in case I had a bad dream, and I needed either one of them in the middle of the night._

_ I shut the main light off and turned my jeweled table lamp on. I crawled under my comforter—decorated with the same hot pink sequins which embellished the side table lamp I hadn't been to bed this early in months. Jackson and I were usually still hanging out by now. I couldn't help but play today over and over again in my head. How could I be falling for my best friend all of a sudden?_

_ I pulled my Harley blanket—the one given to me by the Teller's as a gift one Christmas—closer to my chest. I grabbed ahold of my teddy bear and shut my lamp off. I tried to shut my eyes—but it was no use. Every time I closed them, Jax popped into my sight. I guess you could say I had it pretty bad for the kid. No sooner did I open my eyes back up that I heard a loud rumble come in through my window. I looked up, only to see Jackson standing right in front of my bed._

_ "Holy shit. What the fuck are you doing here?!" I exclaimed, getting up from under my covers. We were soon only an inch apart. He grabbed my face, I shut my eyes, and he shut his. Soon, our lips were making perfect clockwork with one-another. We pulled away when we both felt that it was right. _

_ "Wow…Jax…I,"_

_ "I don't want to drop what happened between us tonight, Arabella. You mean everything to me,"_

_ "You mean everything to me too, Jax,"_

_ He kissed me one last time for the night. I really didn't want him to leave, but I knew he had to, before Gemma kicked his ass._

_ "Goodnight, Bella,"_

_ "Night,"_

_ Jax slowly creeped back out my window, as I crawled back into bed. I had no problem falling asleep after this._


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

"_A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself"—_Frank Crane

_ I was so deep in sleep the following morning that when my alarm clock sounded off, I had no desire to get out of bed. It was nearly 6:30 as I made my way down the hall and into the bathroom. I grabbed a towel from the wooden cabinet next to the bathroom door, got undressed, and hopped in the shower. The hot water hitting on my face was just enough to wake me up from one of the best dreams that I'd had in a long time. _

_ I made my way into my room just a matter of minutes later. I couldn't help but replay the kiss over and over again in my head when picking out today's outfit. I didn't have a lot of 'cute' or 'girly' clothes, so I had to go by what I could make cute, I guess. I grabbed my pair of faded skinny jeans, a black spaghetti strap tank top, and a white button-up long sleeved shirt. I dressed in the outfit, but noticed that the shirt really wasn't working too well with the jeans. I rolled the sleeves up, as well as the excess parts at the bottom into a knot. There. That looked, well, somewhat nice._

_ It was muggy in the air, as I turned my blow drier on. My heap of brunette hair was a curly mess—like most mornings—and the only thing I wanted to do was throw it up. Which, ended up being what happened. It went up in a tight ballerina bun, and I really didn't give a fuck if it stayed or not. It was going to be really hot today. _

_ I put my Johnny Cash cassette in my stereo as I made my way back to the bathroom. I began rummaging through the middle drawer until I found exactly what I was looking for: mom's makeup stash._

_ I'll have to admit, I've never worn makeup before. A lot of girls my age were into wearing makeup and I never jumped on that boat back in middle school, I guess. But this morning, it was different. I had a desire to wear it. There was just one tiny little problem, however. I had no idea how to put any of it on._

_ I opened up the pink and green tube first. I knew that it was mascara and that it went on your eyelashes—but, how? I held the brush up to my lashes, keeping one eye closed. I began to blink into the brush. It didn't do much to them. _

_ I repeated the action on the other set of lashes, and moved onto my mom's infamous red lipstick. I smothered the dark red shade all over my top and bottom lip, then blotted them with the nearest tissue that I could find. 'Good enough, I guess,' I said, as I stood up and shrugged in the mirror. Time had gotten the best of me, because soon I heard a car horn coming from the driveway. I grabbed my black cowboy boots and sprayed an un-opened bottle of body spray all over my outfit. I grabbed my bag, shut the door in my room and flew down the stairs._

_ I was silent as I piled into the back of Gemma's car. The first 'morning' that I got was from Jax, as Gemma began backing out of the driveway. _

_ "Good morning," I said back to him, as he smiled at me._

_ "What kid did you let draw on your face, Bell?"_

_ I was appalled at Gemma after this comment slipped between her lips. "Excuse me?" I asked her. _

_ "You heard me, sweetie," Gemma said back. Gemma Teller was known for making smart-ass comments, but never towards me. I felt insulted. _

_ I swallowed hard. "I felt like looking pretty today,"_

_ "Yeah? Well, you'd look a lot better without all that clown shit on your face," _

_ I looked at OP as he shrugged. Leave it to the queen bitch to ruin anyone's day._

_ "Alright, guys. Who can tell me what the dynamic mf means?" the day had begun to fly by. Choir greeted me with its presence rather nicely on what turned out to be an average afternoon. I raised my hand, and so did half of the other class._

_ "You, uh…" my choir teacher said, as she pointed to the auburn haired girl that sat beside me._

_ "Brantli," she replied back._

_ "Right, right. Okay, Brantli. What does the dynamic mf mean?"_

_ "Mezzo forte," she replied with a devilish grin on her face._

_ "Good! Mezzo forte is what mf means, guys. Not something else that you guys are probably thinking of," a couple of kids in the class chuckled. "Mezzo forte means moderately loud," she wrote the definition on the board for us to copy down. "Alright, guys. This is the moment you've all been waiting for," she began to dig in her black duffle back for something. She smiled, as she raised a stack of sheet music in her hands. "Our first song of the year!" _

_ The class burst into a sudden applause, as she raised her finger, signaling for us to be quiet. "It's, unfortunately a Christmas song for our concert in December. But, hey, at least it's something," she began to hand the packets out to the students._

_ "Pass it over," I directed to Brantli, as she grabbed the stack of music from me._

_ "Alright," she replied. Crossing her arms over her chest, she said aloud "Ugh, fuck my life. I hate this song,"_

_ I hadn't even looked at the sheet yet, so I managed to sneak a quick glance at the top of the page. "What's wrong with 'Jingle Bell Rock'?"_

_ "What isn't wrong with 'Jingle Bell Rock' should be the real question here," she rolled her eyes and sighed. _

_ We dropped the conversation at that, as Mrs. Hunsel started to play the notes on the piano. _

_ "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock," the class echoed her back in unison._

_ "I'm Brantli, by the way," she whispered to me._

_ "Arabella," _

_ "I know. We have math and English together. I've seen you around talking to Jax Teller,"_

_ Oh man, please don't tell me that this Christmas carol hating bitch has a crush on Jax. _

_ "Really?"_

_ "Yeah. He's some boy to get mixed up with,"_

_ "What do you mean by that?" Obviously, she didn't know Jax like I did._

_ "Oh, come on. His dad runs one of the most popular gangs in all of California. He's obviously going to be in there when he gets older. He just…seems like trouble,"_

_ I shook my head. She was all wrong. "It's a motorcycle club,"_

_ "They sell guns to other gangs, Arabella. It's a gang,"_

_ "And, how are you so sure that Jax is going to be in it when he gets older? He's got a huge future ahead of him," _

_ "Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Five bucks says he isn't in class right now," Mrs. Hunsel looked over at us. How the fuck did this girl know anything about my best friend?! I was on the verge to punching her—and, that didn't happen very often._

_ "Mix and mingle and a jingling beat, that's the jingle bell rock," we sang back to her, making it look like we were going along with the rest of the choir._

_ "You're just jealous,"_

_ Brantli laughed. "Of?"_

_ "Mine and Jax's relationship,"_

_ "Oh, so you and Teller are together?"_

_ "No, I was just…"_

_ She stared at me. "Uh huh,"_

_ I shook my head. "He's a really great guy. He's…my best friend," I began. "He's been my best friend since we were seven,"_

_ "How sweet," she told me. "I'm not interested in Jax though. I've seen him with that one really tall kid all of the time,"_

_ "Opie?"_

_ "That's not his name," she said, staring at me. Mrs. Hunsel finished the song and directed us to have the last ten minutes of class to ourselves. _

_ "It is! I swear. I've known him since I was seven,"_

_ "Ugh. That name is just such a turn off,"_

_ "I know," I chuckled. "But, he's a really great guy,"_

_ "Seems like it," we dropped the conversation for a few minutes. "Look, I'm sorry to be really straight-forward with all of this, but I just moved here in July so I don't really know anyone,"_

_ "I understand," I told her._

_ "Maybe we could all go grab a bite to eat after school?"_

_ "Sure," I chuckled. "I'll have to check with the guys. But, I'm sure they'll be up for it,"_

_ "Cool," she told me. "Thanks for being so nice,"_

_ "I know what it's like to be the new person around her," I grabbed my books from under my chair as the bell rang. "I was in your shoes seven years ago," we began to make our way out of the auditorium. "I don't have too many girlfriends around here, so it's no problem. If you ever need anything, let me know,"_

_ "What class do you have next?"_

_ "Latin," I replied._

_ "I have physical science," she grumbled._

_ "So do Jax and OP!"_

_ "Haha. I'll let you know if your boy toy is in there,"_

_ "Thanks!" I told her. "I'll meet you in the courtyard after school,"_

_ "Alright. See ya," Brantli said, as she sped off to class. So much was spinning around in my head that I didn't know what to comprehend first, other than the fact that I was grabbing something to eat after school with my two best friends and some stranger I just met. And, I guess I had to be okay with that._

_ We'd been coming to T's Diner since we were little kids. The familiarity of the restaurant was comforting to me—especially on a day where stuff just seemed so out of the ordinary. _

_ "You know the drill guys," Becky, the hostess told us. "Seat yourselves,"_

_ The diner was never really that packed. They had great food, fast service, and did extremely well for being one of the only restaurants in town._

_ Caleigh was our waitress like always, so she made her way over to the table with 3 Pepsi's in her hand._

_ "Oh, Lord. What'd you guys do? Rope another one in?" _

_ Brantli laughed. "She's Ara's" Opie told her._

_ "What can I get ya to drink, sweetie?"_

_ "A Pepsi is fine," Brantli replied, as she flipped to the next page of her menu. _

_ "I'll be right back,"_

_ Jax dug in his coat pocket and grabbed his pack of smokes, offering them all around the table. Opie took one, and to my dismay, so did Brantli._

_ "Bad habit," she said, offering the light illuminating from Opie's lighter._

_ Jax took a drag from his smoke. "Tell me about it," he put his hand on my knee under the table. This was new. This was really new._

_ Caleigh came back over with Brantli's Pepsi and quickly took our orders. "I'll go put these in. Do you guys need anything else?"_

_ "I think we're good," I told her._

_ "Alrighty. Thanks, guys,"_

_ Jax took another drag from his cigarette. "So, what brings you to Charming?"_

_ "Parent shit," she started, as she took a sip of her soda. "My mom and dad got a divorce; dad's trying to flee from mom. It never ends,"_

_ "I hear ya on that one," Opie replied. Opie had had parent issues for the past couple of years. Piney and Mary always seemed to be going at it anymore. Could it be because of the gang—I mean, club? That one was still hard to fathom. "My parent's marriage is doomed, I tell ya,"_

_ "Mine, too. I caught Gemma and Clay kissing last night," _

_ "You're shitting me," I told him, completely appalled at the words coming from his mouth._

_ "Swear to God. It wasn't even disappointing, ya know? It was just really, really creepy,"_

_ Brantli looked so lost in the entire conversation. "My dad's in Belfast. And his best friend, Clay sort of stepped up to help out around the house and raise me and shit after my brother died," she still looked lost. _

_ "Uh huh," _

_ "And now I fucking know why. It's cause Clay was bedding Gemma the entire time,"_

_ "Dude, I'm gonna be sick," Opie laughed shyly. He looked at Jax and me and noticed that Jax's hand was under the table. He gave him a 'sup' nod. That had to be guy code for something._

_ "What about your parents, Ara?" Brantli asked me._

_ "What about them?"_

_ "Is there marriage okay?"_

_ I shrugged my shoulders. "I mean, it's alright. They've been married for almost 30 years," _

_ "Wow," Brantli said, taking the last drag off of her cigarette. _

_ "They fight, but it's not constant, you know?"_

_ "You're in our physical science class, right?"_

_ "I thought she looked familiar!" Opie exclaimed._

_ "Yep," Brantli replied._

_ "What'd we do today?"_

_ "Why?" I asked him. "You were in class, weren't you?" I already knew he wasn't._

_ "Um. Well, you see…"_

_ "Jackson!" I yelled, hitting him on his right arm. "What the hell?! Why weren't you guys in class?!"_

_ "Tig needed us for something,"_

_ "Is Tig gonna help you guys get to college?"_

_ "No, but I mean…"_

_ "Seriously, Jax. Get your shit together and go to class,"_

_ "When am I ever going to need physical science? It's pointless,"_

_ "Hey, bro. You never know. A rock might fall on your head and you might need to calculate the volume of it,"_

_ The table burst into laughter. It didn't matter. Jax needed to graduate. Caleigh made her way over to the table with our food—Jax's apple pie, Opie's burger, Brantli's salad and my ice cream sundae. _

_ "Thanks," we all told her in unison. _

_ "I'd like to propose a toast," Opie said, as he raised his glass. Jax, Brantli, and I followed his lead. "To friendship. May it be the realest thing that any of us ever have,"_

_ We clung our glasses together, and started feasting away at our food. I looked around the table, and couldn't be a happier girl right now. Everything was good. Really, really good. I wish, with all of my heart that it could just stay like this—in this moment, forever. But, we all know life doesn't work like that. This friendship was about to endure some serious shit. _

**A/N: I'm really surprised I have this much of it up. I'm not really good with updating stories on here, but this one has been my favorite story to write in a really long time! What do you guys think of Brantli? We'll start to find more out about her in the next few chapters. It's gonna start going really fast after this. Let me know what you guys think overall. If I don't have a chapter up tomorrow, enjoy watching the new episode of Sons tomorrow! I'm pumped! Have a great night, guys. Look forward to hearing from you. **


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

"_You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question."- _Albert Camus, 'The Fall'

_**October, 1992**_

"_Good morning, Charming High School! This is Nichole here with your morning announcements for Friday, October 12__th__, 1992. Attention entire student body: homecoming is only eight days away! Have you gotten your ticket yet?! Homecoming c0urt applications are on the door outside the main office, located on the first floor of the school. Remember, if you're applying to be homecoming king and queen, you may not run for prom king and queen. That message was directed towards the seniors of the school," she paused for a brief moment, before speaking again. "Participate and show your Charming High pride during homecoming week! Each day will feature a new theme. The theme sheet will be available in your homerooms today. All outfits must be school appropriate and corresponding to the themes. Don't forget, the big game is one week from tonight. Go Warriors! And, here's Hunter," Nichole concluded the announcements. Ah, homecoming week. Being a freshman, I've never actually been to a dance. So, I was excited to get all dressed up for a change…despite the fact that both Jax and Opie thought it was a waste of time. _

"_Here's the theme week sheet, guys," Mr. Sveck told us, as he began to pass the paper's out to each row. "Please try to participate. I know it may seem lame, but homecoming week is actually a lot of fun. You're only a freshman once, you know," _

"_I really don't want to participate in any of this shit," Jax replied, as Opie passed the pile of papers back to me. "I'm thinking about just skipping all of next week._

_I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, Teller,"_

"_Or what?" he asked with a flirtatious grin set in stone on his face._

_I punched his arm. "Are you guys really not going to go to homecoming?"_

"_Fuck no!" Opie whispered. Svecky had already assigned him one detention for cussing—and, he really didn't need another one._

"_Why? Too much of a pussy to put on a suit and tie for one night?" I joked._

"_Your old lady's got jokes, man," Opie groaned. "It's just…lame. The entire idea of a theme week, and a dance. You have to ask a girl out to the dance, buy her that dumb flower thing, dance with her…it's just fucking stupid,"_

"_I bet your girlfriend doesn't think so," Jax replied._

"_Brantli isn't my girlfriend,"_

"_Oh, what is she then?"_

"_She's just a friend,"_

"_Uh huh, bro. A friend with benefits, I bet,"_

"_Leave her out of this," Opie said, giving Jax a look of disgust. _

_I laughed, although I didn't mean to. It was rare that they fought, and watching Opie grow madder as Jax kept interrogating him was priceless. The bell soon rang, and we flew out of class. We only had three minutes in between to get to our next class—algebra I, which wasn't too thrilling. I caught up with Brantli in the hallway, as she grabbed me by the arm of my gray sweatshirt._

"_That's really what you wore to school?"_

"_What's wrong with it?"_

_She sighed. "You're going to homecoming, right?!" total change of subject, but, whatever._

"_Yes! Of course!"_

"_We have to go dress shopping," Brantli started, as we made our way down to the classroom. "What're you doing tonight,"_

"_A whole lot of nothing," I replied._

"_Perfect! We'll go tonight. I'm excited!"_

"_Me too!" I told her, as we stepped into the classroom. This was going to be perfect: if only my best friend was going with me as well, more than a friend I guess._

_Colton had agreed to take us to San Joaquin mall later on that night. The only disadvantage to living in such a small town was that the nearest mall was more than twenty minutes away. It was okay though. Colton didn't mind it, and it was worth the long car ride. I got to spend at least some time with my brother. Although I was at the clubhouse quite often, it was rare that I saw him. _

_The parking lot was packed, and I expected nothing less on a Friday night. As he parked the car in an available spot, he slipped me $200. _

"_Colton," I told him. "I can't take this from you,"_

"_Yes you can. It's only once that your baby sister goes to her first homecoming. I love you, Ara. And I want you to get the most gorgeous dress that you can, okay?"_

_I nodded my head, and gave him a huge hug. "I owe you,"_

"_Nah," he replied. "I love you, sis,"_

"_Love you, too," I could feel my throat get tighter, as if I were about to cry. We'd never been really rich, so for him to do this for me was more than I could ever ask for from him._

"_If none of the guys pick up, you call me, okay?" he asked both Brantli and I, as we filed out of his Silverado. _

"_Alright," I said, throwing my purse on my arm. "Thanks again, bro,"_

"_Anytime," he replied, as he began to back out of the parking spot. Brantli grabbed ahold of my arm, and locked hers in with it. _

"_This is going to be so much fun!" she proclaimed, as we made our way in through the front doors of the mall. _

_We settled back at Brantli's around 9 o'clock that night, with a generous lift back from Tig. _

"_Where's your dad?" I asked. Brantli's dad wasn't around much. I'd only met him once._

"_Out of town. I think," she replied, flipping her auburn hair over her shoulder. She huffed. "I'm bored,"_

"_Me too,"_

_After ordering a pizza, we decided that it just wasn't complete without our two favorite guys. They were over in no time, smiles across both of their faces. Opie and Brantli greeted each other like they normally did: a long, passionate kiss that always ended with Brantli's Monroe piercing getting pulled out. They'd been getting better at not bumping it while making out, however. I couldn't imagine the pain that must cause to her face each time it ripped out._

_Jax greeted me much like we had since we were seven: a 'sup, bro?' nod and a bear hug. Gee, thanks. _

"_We ordered a pizza," Brantli said, once coming up for air after the kiss._

"_Good! I'm starving,"_

"_Did Gemma not cook?" I asked, as we made our way into the living room. It was unusual for her not to cook. _

"_She did, I just wasn't hungry," Jax replied, as he took a seat on the shorter couch. I cuddled up next to him, and he put his arm around me, pulling my body closer to his. _

"_Here, I grabbed you guys some sodas," Brantli said, as she and Opie joined us, taking up the longer couch against the far-right wall of the living room._

"_The beer looked too tempting," Opie joked. I knew he really wasn't joking though._

"_Tell me about it," Jax said, popping open the top and taking a long drink of his Sprite._

"_Heard from John today? Tig told me he called,"_

"_That piece of shit? Yeah, he called. He asked me how eighth grade was going,"_

"_Seriously?" Opie asked him._

"_Yep. I told him I was a freshman, and he simply said 'Oh. Must've just slipped my mind,'" _

"_Dumbass," I replied._

"_What else did you say?"_

"_Basically that he needs to get his ass home to his wife and kid and that Clay Morrow shouldn't be doing his job in the club and at the house,"_

"_Amen," Opie said._

"_I'm done with him,"_

"_I'm sorry, bro. If my old man ever did that, I wouldn't know how to act or what to say,"_

"_I shouldn't have to be telling him any of this," Jax took another sip of his soda and pulled me closer._

_Brantli got up and turned on the radio to the classic rock station. Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" began blasting through the speakers. _

"_Just screw him,"_

_Jax sighed. "I could really use that beer right now,"_

"_My dad will kill me if any of it goes missing," Brantli explained. "Trust me. I know. I've tried to drink them,"_

"_I should've snuck a bottle from the club house," Opie groaned. _

"_So girls, how was shopping?" Jax asked, changing the subject._

"_Good," Brantli and I replied in unison. _

"_Awesome," Opie started. "Because I have something that would go perfect with your dress," he dug in the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet. "Close your eyes,"_

_Brantli did as she was told, as Opie placed a laminated piece of black paper in her hands. _

"_You can open them," he instructed._

_As soon as she did, she was stunned. "A couple's ticket to homecoming?!"_

"_It's for you and Arabella. We thought it'd be hot," Jax said, butting into the conversation._

"_Shut up," I told him._

"_It's not, I promise," Opie told her. "It's for us. Do you want to go to homecoming together?"_

_Brantli wasn't too sure what to say, so she kissed Opie with such force. "What the hell do you think?"_

_He smiled back at her. "Awesome," _

"_I thought you said homecoming was lame?" I replied, finishing off my Sprite._

"_I changed my mind,"_

_Does this mean Jax was going to change his, too?_

**A/N: Well, what do you think? Do you guys think Jax is going to change his mind?! Stay tuned to find out!**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

"_Kiss a lover,  
Dance a measure,  
Find your name  
and buried treasure._

Face your life,  
its pain,  
its pleasure,  
Leave no path untaken."—Neil Graham, "The Graveyard Book"

_The week bad slowly drug on. When Thursday came around, I couldn't be more relieved. Homecoming was the main thing on all of our minds—Jax still hadn't asked me. He didn't want to go, and I respected that, among other things. I wasn't mad. I was just…hurt, I guess. I shrugged it off, however. I was going to make the most of the game and the dance—dateless or not._

_ "We look ridiculous," I concluded, as Brantli and I made our way down to the cafeteria. The theme today was 80s workout day, and we were dressed to the nines. I didn't have much of an appetite—I just went so I could spend some time with Jax. I began imputing the combination into my locker, and jumped a bit when someone put their hands over my eyes. _

_ "Hi, beautiful," he told me, as he turned me around and gave me a tight hug. It looked like Jax. He hugged like Jax. But, this wasn't Jax. Jax would never come up to me and call me "beautiful" unless he wanted something. _

_"Um, hi," I told him. _

_ "Brantli, can Arabella and I talk?"_

_ Brantli looked at the both of us. "I guess so," she huffed, as she began her walk to the cafeteria._

_ "Save me a seat!" I exclaimed, before she could get too far away. I looked into Jax's blue eyes, as he looked into mine. "What's this about, Teller?"_

_ "Look in your locker," he told me. I had yet to do so, but when I did, I couldn't believe it. A bouquet of pink roses sat up top, with an envelope placed in them._

_ "Open the card," he directed. I ripped it open in no time, and read the words out loud._

_ Placed inside was a simple sentence. It didn't have much meaning to it, but it was the sentence that I'd been waiting all week for._

_ "Well?" Jax asked, after I finished reading the card. "Do you want to go to homecoming with me?"_

_ "Move the hell over! I can't see anything!"_

_ "Well maybe you should get a bigger mirror!" _

_ "Is the curling iron still on?" I asked Brantli._

_ "No. I shut it off,"_

_ "Why?!" I exclaimed._

_ "Because! Your hair looks fine, Arabella. Are you going to let me do your makeup?"_

_ I huffed. On the inside, I was screaming 'no!' but on the outside, I smiled and let Brantli draw on my face. _

_ We'd been getting ready since 2 this afternoon. It was now 7:30—the dance began at 8:00. I was nervous. My stomach was in a huge knot; which rarely happens. I felt like a princess tonight, however. My nails and toenails were polished, my hair was perfectly curled, and my makeup looked like a professional had taken the time to do it. I didn't know how Jax was going to react when he saw me. But, I was ready._

_ "Girls!" my mom called up the stairs. "Jackson and Opie are here!"_

_ Brantli looked at me, and I looked at her. "You ready?"_

_ I sprayed my hair with hairspray one last time. "I was born ready,"_

_ As we began our torturous walk down the stairs of my childhood home, I could see tears form in both of my mom and dad's eyes. Oh man. Why?_

_ Jax and Opie stood at the front door. My God, they cleaned up good. Opie wore a white button-up shirt with a purple tie; a shade that matched Brantli's dress to a T. He paired the outfit with a pair of black slacks, and wore a pair of black combat boots on his feet. OP's long blonde hair was tied up in a tight bun, and no facial hair was in place on his chin or above his lip. His brown eyes lit up as Brantli made her way down the stairs. She wore a short metallic purple dress that hugged every one of her small curves. It was one-sleeved—long, and made entirely of a lacey fabric. Her auburn hair was in a ballerina bun, and she completed the outfit with a pair of silver heels that made her look way taller than her 5'2 figure. Her Monroe piercing was worn with pride, and she changed her nose ring to a nose stud. No earrings were in her ears except her tragus hoop on the right side. Her tattoo that read "live and let die" could be seen clear as day on her neck. Opie couldn't say anything to her, so, he placed her white rose corsage around her right wrist and sealed the deal with a kiss._

_ Jax could only say "Wow," as I approached him. While my dress wasn't as stunning as Brantli's, I'll admit that I was in love with it. It was a pale pink color—strapless, falling just above my trembling knees. The top part of the dress was plain, with it falling to a bed of ruffles over the silk fabric. It came out like a tutu. My blonde hair was done in banana curls, with my bangs pinned off to the side. The dress was completed with a pair of black pumps, increasing my 5'0 height by a few inches as well. Jax wore a black button up with a white tie. His blonde hair was slicked back, and his face was free of any facial hair as well. He finished his ensemble off with a pair of black slacks and black dress shoes._

_ "I love you, best friend," he mouthed to me, as he stuck my pink rose corsage around my right wrist—just like Opie had done to Brantli._

_ "I love you, too," I told him back. He kissed me, as my mom and dad could only watch in awe. She snapped a few pictures—individual and group—and sent us on our way to our first high school dance._

_ The school was in such an uproar as we walked in that we didn't know what to think of it, quite honestly. The cafeteria and gymnasium were decorated to look like its theme: Light up the Night. It was lame, I'd have to admit, but when we entered into the gym, it was like I didn't know where on Earth I was. The lights were completely off, with little twinkling lights covering the place. There were archways with lights and flowers on them by the DJ booth, and other little decorations everywhere. The song "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leopard was blasting—the dance floor was packed with people. _

_ "You wanna dance?" Jax asked me, as he gripped onto my hand._

_ "Uh, sure," I told him. Dance with him? No problem. However, dancing on him was something that I just couldn't see myself doing. He turned me around, so that my backside was facing his front. Opie and Brantli were already setting an example of what Jax and I should be doing. I shrugged, and went along with it. _

_ The DJ finally played a slow song—Journey's "Open Arms" about an hour or so later._

_ "This is nice," I told Jax, as he led our first slow dance together._

_ "Yeah, it is," he smiled._

_ "I'm glad you're here with me," _

_ He kissed my forehead. "I wouldn't have it any other way,"_

**A/N: Sorry for the shortness/lameness of the chapter! My homecomings are usually spent getting ready for the dance and doing a lot of dancing. I'm excited to write the next few chapters…think you know what's gonna happen?!**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

"_Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same."_—Flavia Weedn

_**November, 1992**_

_Homecoming soon turned into Halloween, then my fifteenth birthday, which in turn turned into the day before Thanksgiving. I couldn't believe how time had gotten the best of us. _

_Opie and Brantli had been a couple for almost a month now. It was amazing what homecoming night could do to someone. They had proven their love for each other—and, once you did that with someone, you could never go back. They were good for each other—they kept each other grounded and focused on more than just one day at a time._

_Jax and I no longer talked like we used to. He avoided me a lot after homecoming. I couldn't remember the last time that I'd hung out with him just as friends. That stupid kiss and that stupid dance had messed everything up between us—even though he promised that nothing would ever happen. The problem was, I couldn't let this go. I was falling more and more in love with him as the moments passed on. I had to turn back now, before my heart became broken by something that he wasn't interested in._

_We had the day before and the day after Thanksgiving off. The days were getting colder in northern California, signaling to all of us that fall was here and that it could only get colder from this moment on. It hardly ever snowed here, so we weren't holding our breaths for it to snow on Thanksgiving._

_Every year, the Tellers threw a huge Thanksgiving dinner, inviting not only everyone in the club, but close affiliates to them as well. Queen bee Gemma couldn't handle doing all of the cooking and preparation by herself and I couldn't blame her. She'd always asked my mom and I to help her out, and of course we did. The Tellers were family to us and as much as I hated to admit it sometimes, Gemma was like a second mom. I loved her to death, despite the newest turmoil between her son and I. I was finally old enough to help with the cooking, so I woke up on that Wednesday morning in a fantastic mood. Brantli had spent the night last night, and we quickly got ready to head next door. It couldn't have been later than 10 o'clock in the morning._

"_You really need to get some fall clothes," Brantli looked at me, as I threw my hair up in a high ponytail. _

"_What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked her, looking down at my navy blue basketball shorts and white t-shirt._

"_Everything!" Brantli exclaimed. "You're fifteen now. You have to start dressing like it. I'm gonna see if my dad can drop us off at the mall after we help Gemma,"_

"_For?" _

"_A new wardrobe for you," _

_While I hated to admit it, Brantli was right. I had been dressing like a middle school tomboy for the past few years and was really sick of it. Was that why Jax didn't want to go out with me?_

_ The Teller's house was silent as my mom, Brantli and I hurried over there. We found Gemma sitting at the kitchen table with a notebook and pen sitting in front of her._

_ "Morning, guys," she told us, as we took a seat at the table, after our normal round of hugs._

_ "How are you?" my mom asked, as she grabbed a coffee mug from the cabinet._

_ "Stressed," Gemma said. "John isn't answering his goddamn phone, and he's supposed to be coming home today," she sighed. "And, on top of that, the fucking turkey isn't defrosting and Luanne still isn't here with the things that I wanted her to pick up from the store—I still have to go grocery shopping," she took a sip of her coffee._

_ "It'll get done, don't worry," my mom reassured her, as she poured the steaming liquid into her mug. _

_ "I hope so. If not, we're ordering pizzas and calling it a night,"_

_ My mom chuckled. "Did you plan out the meal yet?"_

_ "I started to. So far, I have the appetizers written down, but not the main course,"_

_ "What do you have for the appetizers?" I asked, feeling important as I inserted myself into the conversation. _

_ "Just finger foods. Cheese and crackers, mozzarella sticks, a fruit salad, vegetable tray, chips and dip, pumpernickel bread with spinach and artichoke spread, pigs in a blanket, hanky panckys. The normal stuff we have each year,"_

_ "Alright. Well, we'll need to get stuffing and potatoes for the main course," my mom took a sip of her coffee. "And cranberry sauce. Sweet potatoes, green beans,"_

_ "Cinnamon apples," I said, reminding both of them of my favorite holiday dish. _

_ "Right," Gemma said, as she scribbled this down in her notebook. "The store is going to be crazy,"_

_ "Well, we'll just have to push people out of the way, won't we?" my mom asked her. We all chuckled, as a sleepy-eyed Jax made his way into the kitchen._

_ "Morning sleeping beauty," Gemma told him, as he opened the fridge. Jax grabbed out the orange juice, opened up the carton and took a big swig._

_ "Goddamnit, Jackson Kyle. Use a fucking glass, would you?!" Gemma exclaimed, as Brantli and I looked at each other and smiled._

_ "Sorry," he said, wiping his mouth free of any excess orange juice._

_ Gemma rolled her eyes. "What time's OP coming over?"_

_ "Eleven," Jax said as he sat down next to Brantli. Since the girls were doing all of the cooking for tomorrow, Jax and Opie were given the task of cleaning up the house._

_ "I really need you guys to be done by three. Your dad's plane is supposed to get in today, and you guys should go with Clay and Piney to pick him up," Gemma started. "It might be late though. Three is just an estimated time,"_

_ "Wow. The son of a bitch is finally coming home, huh?"_

_ "Language," Gemma reminded him._

_ He rolled his eyes. "It's bullshit, ma. And you know it," he got up from his chair. "I'm going to hop in the shower. I'll see you guys later,"_

_ I felt bad for him. I didn't know what it was like to not have a dad there with you every day. John and he were so close when he was younger, but anymore John had lost his way to alcohol and Belfast. It was unfortunate, especially since he was such a genuine guy._

_ "Well, you girls ready to go fight the crazy people?" Gemma asked, as she concluded our conversation. _

_ "Sure," Brantli spoke for all of us as she said this. _

_ It took us three hours to make it through the hecticness of the local grocery store. However, I could tell Gemma was relieved to have bought everything. Her and my mom hurried back to start prepping everything for tomorrow night. _

_We ended up going to the mall—courtesy of my mom—later on that afternoon. She handed me her credit card and told me to buy whatever I needed. It was a sweet gesture, but every time I swiped it, I felt one of my heart strings being tugged on. I didn't like asking for money, let alone using my mom's credit card to buy clothes. _

_ I'll have to admit though; Brantli was excellent at picking out clothes. She knew what to pair with what. I was glad to have her as a best friend. _

_ Colton came to pick us up within the next few hours. "You'll have to change. I want Jax to know what he thinks of your outfit," the guys were throwing a 'welcome home' party for John. Although Jax didn't want to, I knew he was going to be there._

_ I nodded my head. "Absolutely," _

_ "There's a ton of people at the clubhouse. If you girls want to get cleaned up, I'll drop you guys off at home and then pick you up in an hour for the party,"_

_ We looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. "Sure,"_

_ "I look like an idiot," I told Brantli, as I dressed in a pair of black leggings and white crop top, complete with a pair of black heel boots and a white and black floral scarf._

_ "You look hot!" she exclaimed, as she turned my crimper on. "I'm gonna teach you how to put makeup on, okay?" _

_ I began opening up the packages of makeup from Target that Brantli shoved in my basket. I sat them down on my vanity, as Brantli opened up her makeup bag._

_ "You should always wash your face before you put any makeup on. Put a moisturizer on and let it dry—unless you're in a rush," "And, put on a primer. It'll make the makeup eaier to put on, too" she opened up the top of her ivory colored cover-up. "You should always wear a towel or an old t-shirt when you put your makeup on, however. You don't want to get anything on your shirt,"_

_ I nodded my head, as I opened up my cover-up. She stuck the brush in, and began to paint her face. "Make sure you blend it in, on the bottom and the sides of your face. You don't want your face and chin to be two different colors, because that looks tacky,"_

_ She opened up her foundation, and took a separate brush out, covering her face in that. Next came blush, and a different brush. "Smile really wide when you put this on, making sure to hit the top of your cheekbones. Too much blush will make you look like a porcelain doll, however so I advise you to only wear a little bit of it," She blended all of her makeup in one last time, before moving on to top and bottom eyeliner, primer, eye shadow, then finally mascara. "Are you planning on kissing Jax tonight?"_

_ "I don't know. I can't even get him to talk to me, let alone kiss me,"_

_ Brantli thought for a moment. "Fuck it. Put on some lip gloss and if you kiss him, you kiss him,"_

_ I began spreading the pale pink shade over my lips and smacking my lips together upon completion. We crimped my hair, finishing off my outfit with a leather jacket. I looked nothing like I had earlier that morning. Which, was astounding._

_ "Thank you. So much," I told Brantli, giving her a hug._

_ "It's not a problem,"_

_ "I owe you,"_

_ "No, you don't. I did this cause you're my best friend. I want to see you happy,"_

_ I smiled at her. "It means a lot, Brantli. You're the best,"_

_ "I know," she chuckled, as we made our way downstairs. Colton was seated on the couch in our living room, watching a re-run of Cheers._

_ "You girls ready?" he asked. When he turned around, he didn't even recognize me. "Arabella, holy shit. You look grown," _

_ "Really?"_

_ "Yes," he said, as he grabbed his car keys. "You look beautiful, sis,"_

_ "Thank you," Brantli and I replied at the same time._

_ The clubhouse was packed, like usual. It wasn't a SAMCRO party if it wasn't packed, to say the least. There were all sorts of people here, to welcome John home. His plane didn't land until seven—his flight was delayed a few hours. When he burst through the doors, the whole clubhouse hollered. He didn't look much different. God, it was good to see him. _

_ He began to make his round with hugs—and, kisses on the cheeks for the girls. When he saw Gemma though, tears formed in my eyes. He picked her up, as they embraced in one of the longest kisses that I'd ever seen a couple endure. _

_ "Don't you ever leave me again, okay?" she asked him._

_ "I won't, baby. I promise you," _

_ He approached Jax, whom was now standing less than 10 feet away from us. "Hey Jackson," John gave him a quick hug._

_ "I have not a damn word to say to you," Jax told him, as Gemma's face became angry._

_ "Jackson,"_

_ "No, mom. This needs said," the rest of the clubhouse had gone back to drinking and mingling._

_ "Oh, shit," Opie replied, as he wrapped Brantli in his arms._

_ "What do you think he's going to do?" I asked him._

_ "I don't know. But, I think we're about to find out,"_

_ "Do you know what we've all done here for you?" Jax started, as we focused our attention back to the father and son. "Do you know what I've done for you, while you went out finding yourself?! Do you know what your best friend has done for me and mom?!"_

_ "Jax, I'm sorry,"_

_ "Damn right you're sorry, dad! Damn fucking right! You have no right to just take off and leave mom and me to fend for ourselves. I'm fifteen, dad. I can't take care of myself, let alone take care of my mother, too,"_

_ "Jax," Gemma replied._

_ "Mom, just stay out of this!" Jax exclaimed. "How was Belfast anyway?" he started. "How many times did you get your dick sucked?" the entire clubhouse went silent._

_ As soon as he said that, John's hand went right across his face. I'd never known John to get violent towards anyone. He didn't have any right to. Everything that Jax has said was probably true._

_ "Go the fuck ahead! Hit me as many times as you want old man. You don't scare me. You're a coward, who ran out on his family—his club—when they needed you the most. Thomas was a part of my life, too. But, you didn't see me run off. You didn't see mom abandon me, did you?" Jax was getting angrier. John just stood there, not knowing what to say._

_ "You don't know anything," _

_ "Oh, yeah? I do know that there was a shootout last night with the Niners over the newest shipment of guns,"_

_ Brantli had been right all along. SAMCRO was a gun-running club. I couldn't believe it until I heard it from Jax myself. Who were the Niners? Were they another gang?_

_ "I do know that I almost got shot last night, covering your ass!" Jax proclaimed._

_ "Will you just shut the fuck up, you piece of shit?! You're nothing but a goddamn little prick," another slap across the face._

_ "Yeah?! At least I give a shit about everything that's been going on here," it was now Jax's turn to raise his hand to his father. I was in awe as I watched the two of them go at it. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. Piney, Gemma, Clay, Tig and Opie all rushed over to break the fight up._

_ "Enough!" Clay yelled to the both of them. "I think you both need to cool off for a minute. I don't care where you guys go, just stay far away from each other," _

_ "Gladly," John said to his son._

_ "Oh save the shit, dad. Why don't you go hop back on a plane and go off to Belfast?"_

_ "Because, Jax," John looked at both Clay and him with a sincere expression on his face. "I can see coming home was a mistake,"_

_ "I guess so," Jax said as he grabbed his sweatshirt jacket._

_ "Jackson, where are you going?!" Gemma exclaimed. _

_ "On a walk. By myself!" he replied back, before making his way out of the clubhouse. I knew better than to follow him at a time like this._

_ "God damn you, Jonathon!" she started. "He's your son! You should be here to help raise him,"_

_ "What if I don't want to, huh?" John asked, staring into her eyes. "What if I'm afraid to raise him, because he reminds me so much of myself?"_

_ Gemma looked at him. "You should go home. Jax will stay here for the night. And, after that, I don't know what to tell you,"_

_ John didn't say anything. He just nodded his head and began to make his way out of the establishment that he'd built._

_ "Sorry, everyone," she said. "Nothing to see here. Just go back to what you were doing," I could see Gemma about to fall apart, and that scared me more than anything in the entire world._


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

"_The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should be treated with caution."_—J.K. Rowling

"_Arabella," Opie approached me after everything had simmered down. Clay called for chapel a while ago, causing most of the guys to disappear into a secretive part of the club house. Brantli and Opie had been off minding their own business, while I was too consumed in everything going on around me. Jax still wasn't back from his walk._

"_What?" I asked him, more pissed that everyone had left me by myself than anything._

"_I have to talk to you,"_

"_About what?" I asked, getting up and placing my hands on my hips._

"_Walk with me," he instructed, as we made our way out of the clubhouse._

"_Where's Brantli?"_

"_She's asleep," Opie began. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about,"_

"_Oh really? Then what did you want to talk to me about, OP?" I began. "About how your best friend has been ignoring me since October? About how he's playing with my heart and my emotions and thinking it's some big fucking joke?!"_

_Opie shook his head. "You've got it all wrong. Look, I've known you since we were seven. I've never lied to you—and I've tried to never keep anything from you. Jax talked to me about you. In fact, you're all that kid ever talks about. He's asked me to keep mine and his conversation private, but I can't. I don't like holding things in from you,"_

"_So, start. What'd Jax say?" I asked, as we sat down on the concrete by the entrance of Teller-Morrow towing. _

_Opie opened up his pack of Marlboro's and took one out. He took a drag and then handed it to me. I was in such an awful mood that I took a few drags from it before handing it back to him. "We talked while we were cleaning this afternoon. He hasn't talked to you because he really doesn't know what to say,"_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Opie sighed. "He's in love with you, Arabella Nevaeh. He loves you so much that it hurts him. He never wants to be without you—ever. He's just afraid he's going to hurt you with the club and all," he took another drag from the cigarette. "He's gonna be president one day. It's in his blood. This school shit is not for him. And you need to be okay with it,"_

"_I am," I told him. I wasn't lying. I had to be okay with Jax and Opie and everyone else being in a gun-slinging club. It was a shock to me, about how they could keep this from me for so long. And, no just them—my brothers, too._

"_Really?" Opie chuckled. "You're okay with him going off at all hours of the night, risking his life to keep you safe. To provide for you?"_

"_I have to be, OP. I really, really do,"_

"_It's dangerous, Ara. He doesn't want to break your heart," Opie flicked the remaining ashes of the cigarette on the ground. "He doesn't want you to be worried about him 24/7,"_

"_But I will be," I started. "You know that,"_

"_And, so does Jax. But you can't show it. You have to be okay with the life that he's living. The only thing that boy will ever know is outlaw. And you can't change him," Opie threw the cigarette on the ground, and stomped on it, smashing it until there was nothing left. "He doesn't want to be changed. He wants you to be happy,"_

"_I will be. Once he starts talking to me again," I stated. Why didn't I go after him?_

"_You're like my little sister, Ara. You mean the world to me. You know how there's those couples that are so perfect for each other that you know they're going to be together for the rest of their lives?"_

"_Yes," I said. _

"_That's you and Jackson. I swear to God. The way he looks at you, the way you look at him—it's like a love I've never seen before," Opie smiled. "He loves you to death,"_

"_I love him too, Opie. I really, really do,"_

"_Why don't you talk to him about it? See what he feels like getting into a relationship. Neither of you have ever been in one before and I think it'll be a great life experience for you two,"_

"_What if he doesn't want to?" I asked._

"_Well, then it's his loss, Ara. You're a great girl. Jackson Teller would be lucky to go out with you,"_

_I smiled at him. "Thanks, bro. This means a lot,"_

"_Hey, anytime you need to talk, I'm here," he started, helping me up from our spot on the ground. "I'm gonna get back to Brantli. Don't worry about Jax. Go lay down for a little bit in the other guest room. I'm sure Jax will be back in no time,"_

"_I hope so," I mumbled under my breath. "OP! I have a question," _

"_What's up?"_

_ "Do you love Brantli?"_

_ He smiled at me when my her name crossed my lips. "Yeah, actually, I do. I love her a lot,"_

_ "Tell her," I began. _

_ "I'm waiting for that right moment,"_

_ Maybe that's what I had to do—wait for the right moment to tell Jax that I was in love with him. My stomach hurt just thinking about it._

_ I headed back into the clubhouse and crawled underneath the sheets in the spare bed. It felt good to just relax. No sooner did I close my eyes than did I hear the door creek open._

_ "What're you doing in here?" I heard Jax asked me._

_ "I was waiting for you to get back," I explained. "I wanted to make sure you were okay before I headed home,"_

_ "I'm okay, Bella. I promise,"_

_ "Doesn't seem like it,"_

_ "Yeah, well my dad coming back after being away for a year wasn't exactly what I wanted to happen tonight,"_

_ "You knew it was going to," I sat up, as he sat on the edge of the bed. _

_ "I know. I just didn't want to accept it. I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw the guy,"_

_ "And beating him up is the answer for everything, I take it?"_

_ He chuckled. "Yeah, I guess,"_

_ I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Jax. What am I going to do with you?"_

_ "Anything you want," he replied back. I hit him across the arm with a nearby pillow. "I'm sorry,"_

_ "Me too,"_

_ "I mean it, Bella. I just didn't know how to talk to you. Everything was becoming so weird,"_

_ "Tell me about it," I said. "It's weird for me, too,"_

_ "I'm starting to fall in love with you," Jax told me. "And, I don't know why—I mean, I know why. But I don't know what it's gotta happen all of a sudden like this. I've always loved you. I always will. I'm starting to see you as so much more than just a friend,"_

_ "Me too," I replied. "It's all happening so fast. The kiss, then homecoming. It's not how I planned any of this,"_

_ "I feel like a dumbass for keeping everything from you," he was now talking about SAMCRO. _

_ "Don't. It's none of my business,"_

_ "You're practically family. It should be,"_

_ "Not really," I said. "It was kept a secret for a reason," I was lying. I wanted to know why none of them had told me how dangerous this was. _

_ "How much do you want to know?" he stared at me when he asked me this._

_ I bit down on my bottom lip. "All of it,"_

_ Jax had started with the history of the club: how it began after Piney and JT came back from the Vietnam War, the first 9, SAMCRO's rival gangs, the war with the Mayans, how the system for electing members into the club worked, other branches of the club, what chapel was—anything and everything that I've ever wanted to know about a huge part of my childhood. I was amazed with some of the things that Jax was telling me, especially when he concluded with "I'm going to be President on day,"_

_ "How do you figure?"_

_ "My old man told me it was in my blood. That spot is rightfully mine," he started. "As long as nothing happens to him, the spot becomes mine when I get inducted. Maybe even a few years after,"_

_ I swallowed hard. "And this is something you want to do?"_

_ He nodded his head. "This club means so much to me. I'm awaiting the day I can put on a cut, hop on my Harley and ride with the guys,"_

_ "How does your mom feel about this?" I crossed my legs Indian-style, and gripped the pillow against my chest. _

_ "I don't really know, to be honest," he chuckled. "But it's not her decision,"_

_ "True," I replied. Jax looked up at the clock on the wall. Before we knew it, the time had slowly crept to 11:30. "I should probably get going," I said, getting up from the bed._

_ "Stay the night," Jax told me. "Please?"_

_ I bit my bottom lip, and looked at him. "You sure?"_

_ He nodded his head. "I want to wake up next to you in the morning. Not just tomorrow morning, but for the rest of my life,"_

_ "Maybe we should do something about that," I exclaimed, as Jax got up from the bed._

_ "Maybe we should," he began to make his way over to me. His 5'11 figure pinned me up against the oak-wood door. I wrapped my legs around his waist, as he began to kiss my lips, then slowly move down to my neck. _

_ "Jax," I told him, as he kissed my lips to shut me up. God, he was such a good kisser. We slowly made our way over to the bed. _

_ "I just can't help myself, Bella. You look so damn hot tonight," he kissed me some more, then climbed on top of me. His lips slowly crept down to underneath my shirt._

_ "Jackson, I'm not ready for this," Why? Why did I have to say this?_

_ He looked at me. "Okay," he said, as I sat up. He sat on the bed next to me. _

_ "I'm glad you respect that,"_

_ "I don't want us to rush things," he started. "But why did you say we should do something about it?"_

_ I playfully shoved him after he said that. "I didn't mean sex, you goofball!"_

_ "What did you mean then?" he asked me._

_ I sighed. "Just forget it. Come on, it's getting laid. Let's just get some sleep,"_

_ "Yes ma'am," he smiled at me, as we crawled under the covers. He wrapped me in his arms, pulling me close to his chest. This was nice. "Good night, Bella,"_

_ "Night Teller,"_

_ "I love you,"_

_ "Love you too, best friend,"_

_ Night had turned into day before we knew it. Gemma pounded on the door at 7amthat morning. "Get your asses up!" she yelled to us. We didn't drink last night, but I felt so hung-over from everything that had happened. _

_ "Good morning, beautiful," he said, giving me a small kiss on the lips. _

_ "Mm. Morning," I told him, as I yawned._

_ "I don't think I could ever get sick of this,"_

_ "Me neither,"_

_ "Come on, lovebirds! Get up. We have a lot of work to do!"_

_ I groaned. "Gotta love Gemma, right?" Jackson and I threw the covers off of ourselves as we joined Brantli and Opie at the bar. The place was destroyed—people and empty beer bottles covered to place. _

_ "Did you all sleep well?" she smiled at us. _

_ "Sure did!" Opie exclaimed. _

_ Gemma rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna drop you guys back off at your houses, so that you can get ready. One of the guys will hopefully be over to get you guys around nine or so,"_

_ "You can just drop me off at Ara's. I've got some clothes over there. We'll just walk over when we're done," Brantli said._

_ "Sounds easy enough to me," Gemma said, grabbing her keys and making her way out the door._

_ "Well, did you guys sleep well?" Opie asked Jax. _

_ Jackson and I looked at each other. "Nah," we replied. I knew what he was trying to get at. Nothing of that sort had happened. But a part of me wishes it had._

_ "We should all go around the table and say something that we're thankful for," Clay instructed, as we were all seated down at the dining room table for our Thanksgiving feast. Rock music and football played in the background as family and friends were gathered around. The main members of the club—JT, Braison, Colton, Chibs, Otto, Tig, Piney and Bobby were scattered around, amongst their old ladies. _

_ "That's lame!" Tig said, as we burst into an uproar of laughter._

_ "No it's not," my mom said. "I think it's sweet," _

_ "Alright, fine. I'm thankful for good pus…"_

_ "You can't say that kind of shit at the dinner table, man!" Jackson told him, as he put his hand on my knee. The guys all knew what he was going to say, and nodded their heads in agreement._

_ "Fine. I'm thankful for my daughters," Tig said, as he took a swig of his Miller. _

_ "I'm thankful for my Harley,"_

_ That was a real popular one amongst the table._

_ "I'm thankful for my old lady,"_

_ "To be home," John said, as we all looked at him. "It's good to be back with you guys,"_

_ The guys all shook their heads. Other popular ones were love, their leather, beer, cigarettes—their jobs. It was hilarious, yet somewhat sincere at the same time._

_ "What about you, Jackie boy?" Chibs asked Jax._

_ "My old lady," he said, as he turned his head to kiss me. _

_ "Arabella?"_

_ "I'm thankful to be healthy," I said. It was true. There was nothing wrong with me, at such a time when there were so many things going wrong with people. _

_ "I'm thankful for freedom," Clay said. This one needed to be said. Not only were half of them veterans, but our country was beginning to get just a little bit better, and freedom meant a lot to us._

_ "Amen to that, brother,"_

_ Gemma, per usual, was the last one to speak, as we all began working at the food on our plates. "I'm thankful for family. I'm thankful to be surrounded by people that I love more than anything in this world. I'm thankful that both my son and my husband are healthy and happy. I'm thankful we're all smiling and having a good time. I love you guys. I truly do," Gemma smiled._

_ "Awe!" the guys exclaimed, as they looked at Gemma._

_ "To family," JT said, as he stuck his beer bottle in the air. We all replied and raised our glasses in the air. _

_ "To family!" we all exclaimed, as we clung them together. "May blood always be thicker than water,"_

_ "Absolutely," Clay responded back._

_ However, life can't always be like that, I'm afraid. That's one of the suck-ass things about life—betrayal, and how family is always quick to turn on each other. Sad, but, true._

**A/N: You guys are the best, seriously! This is the longest fic that I've ever written, and I'm so glad I'm sticking to it. Let me know if there's anything that you guys want to see. Thanks for keeping me company along this journey. Keep reading and keep reviewing—the next chapters are going to start getting intense. Let's hope we're all ready for them!**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

"_I know very little about acting. I'm just an incredibly gifted faker."_—Robert Downey, Jr.

_School was back in session that following morning. While I enjoyed the time off, I was excited to get back. Finals were coming up, and it was time to buckle down and get serious so that I could pass the first part of freshman year._

_Jax walked me to each one of my classes that morning. It's like we'd become two different people since we talked. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I had my best friend back, and that's all that mattered. _

_I hurried into class after kissing Jax quickly on the lips. I felt all eyes on me, as they watched me take my seat on the risers next to Brantli, the pounding noise of the heels of my black boots leading the way behind me. She smiled at me, meaning I must have dressed in the right attire this morning._

"_Alright, class. Before we begin, I have an announcement," Mrs. Hunsel told us, as we quieted down. "As most of you may know, I'm not only the choir teacher; I'm the drama director as well. Each year, we put on one big musical in the springtime. This year, we've picked 'Grease',"_

_I smiled, as my focus shifted on Brantli. I nodded my head to her, as she looked at me and chuckled. _

"_I'm sure you all know what 'Grease' is about, right?"_

_Majority of the class nodded their head 'yes' in reply._

"_Awesome," she started. "Auditions are going to be held this week, beginning tomorrow after school. You'll sing, you'll dance, and you'll act a little. I'll cast it, and then we'll have a read through, and then start dance camp before we head off for winter break," she began passing out a synopsis, character and song list sheet to the people that wanted one. "It's a great way to get involved. It's such a good show,"_

_I looked at Brantli, whom looked back at me in return. "Don't look at me!" she exclaimed._

"_Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked her._

"_No, because I already know what you're thinking,"_

"_We should audition for the school play,"_

"_Do you know how lame that sounds?" Brantli asked. "Seriously," _

"_No," I started. "Please, Brant! At least try out with me," _

_She groaned. "Fine, fine. But only because I sort of like the movie,"_

"_Thanks," I told her, as I shifted my focus back to the front of the classroom. _

"_So, who are you trying out for?" _

_I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not sure yet,"_

"_You should audition for Sandy! You remind me so much of her," Brantli exclaimed. "You're such a goody two-shoes,"_

"…_Is that supposed to be an insult?"_

"_No! Relax, Arabella. She's the main character. For a freshman to get that part would be unheard of. Seniors usually get the main parts,"_

"_Ugh, like who?"_

"_Probably Ashleigh. She's been in all of the plays,"_

"_What's the point in even trying out then?"_

_Brantli shook her head. "I've heard you sing, you know. You're really good,"_

"_You have to say that," I told her. "You're my best friend,"_

_We chuckled._

"_What's Jax gonna think?"_

"_Who cares what he thinks?"_

"_Amen to that," Brantli told me._

"_Alright class, settle down," Ms. Hunsel told us. "Real quick. By a show of hands, who's thinking about trying out for 'Grease'?"_

_Brantli, I and a few other students raised their hands._

"_Excellent. I'll see you all tomorrow at 3," she smiled._

_Auditions the next afternoon couldn't come any faster. My stomach had been in knots all day, especially when the boys asked us why we weren't going home with them. "We have…plans," we would tell them. They looked curious, but hadn't really cared what those plans might have been. _

_About 50 of us all gathered in the auditorium right after the dismissal bell rang. It was a relief, really to see so many people auditioning. Maybe I wouldn't get the part._

"_Fill out an information sheet, and then hand them back to me," Ms. Hunsel instructed. "While you guys are coming in, I'm going to be playing some of the music from the musical, just so you get a feel for it," she pressed the PLAY button on the cassette player as 'Grease is the Word' came blasting through the auditorium speakers. Brantli grabbed us two sheets and a pen off the top of the piano. We began to fill them out, as the seats in the auditorium began to fill up. She took a deep breath before she began speaking to us. "Welcome to the first auditions for our production of 'Grease'. My name is Mrs. Hunsel, for those of you that don't know me. I've been the choir teacher here for the past eight years, and the drama director for five. 'Grease' is the tenth production that we're going to put on in this school. I starred in 'Grease' back in San Francisco when I was a sophomore as Frenchy. It's such a fun show to put on. I loved the movie, and I really think you guys will love the show. More importantly, I'm in love with the characters. Each one of them is going through a different journey in their lives as they're beginning to graduate from high school. A lot of the students in here are seniors, so you guys know what that process is beginning to feel like," she smiled. "Today, we're going to be strictly dancing. I'm going to pair you up with a partner after you perform your group auditions. Afterwards, I just want to hear you sing a little bit by sight-reading a song from the play. I'm going to then ask you what character you're planning on trying out for, hand you a script and send you on your way for our second auditions tomorrow. Good luck to everyone—let's hope you guys make it to callbacks tomorrow," _

_I swallowed hard. Oh good God, what have I gotten myself into?_

**A/N: We've made it to chapter ten, guys! Woohoo! I just wanted this to be sort of an informational chapter, showing how Arabella gets into doing theatre and might be pursuing it as a career. Don't worry. OP and Jax will be back. Thank you again for everything. All of the support is amazing. What part do you guys think Arabella and Brantli are going to try out for?! Leave me your response in your review—if you're right, I'll give you a shout-out in my next chapter! Happy SOA Tuesday, everyone! (Maybe chapter 11 will be up tonight, too. Hmm…)**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.__"—_Brian Littrell

_**December, 1992**_

"_I can't look. I'm going to be sick," those were the words that came out of Brantli's mouth as we made our way into school on that Friday morning. The cast list had been posted today to prevent people from hyperventilating over the weekend. It didn't bother me much. I'd done the best I could in the grueling three day audition process. My feet ached, my throat hurt, and the butterflies that always seemed to appear in my stomach had made themselves a little home in there on this dreaded December morning. Nerves were no good to me—ever._

_ "Me too," I mumbled under my breath, as we approached the choir room door. Posted clear as day was a white piece of filler paper that read 'Cast List' in very particular handwriting. It was legible and just thinking about what it said made those butterflies dance around even more. I thought I'd done fairly well for this being my first time to ever perform onstage as a high school student. "You look!" I exclaimed to Brantli, as I threw my hands over my bright green eyes. _

_ "You're such a drama queen," she giggled, as she approached the door. I could tell that a smile was etched on her face as replied "Arabella, you really should look at this,"_

"_Oh God," I uncovered my eyes and made my way over to the wooden door. "How bad is it?" I asked, as Brantli shrugged her shoulders. I'd done the best I could do. It didn't matter to me what part I had earned—as long as I was a part of the play. I took the biggest deep breath I'd ever taken in my whole fifteen years of existence. "Sandy Dumbrowski: Arabella Springsteen," I looked at Brantli, then back at the list, then back at her. I screamed aloud and hugged her all in a mess of a rush. "I can't believe it!"_

_ "Me neither, girly! Congratulations!"_

_ "What part did you get?!" I was so wrapped up in my own excitement that I had forgotten Brantli even tried out._

_ "Rizzo," she smiled. It was the part that she'd wanted all along. We were elated. It wasn't often that freshman got two of the starring roles in the spring musical—we felt like queens at this exact moment. It was a feeling that no one could take away from me—from us._

_ It seemed like the day had gone by so slow. When we finally made it into the auditorium for choir, the commotion about the play had started back up. And, not everyone was too happy about it._

_ "She dates Jax Teller, Mrs. Hunsel! What kind of influence do you think she'll have in the drama club?!" Ashleigh exclaimed as she stood in front of the piano._

_ "Look, Ash. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you a bigger part. You just didn't deliver this time,"_

_ "Oh! And she did?!" she asked, putting total emphasize on the word 'she'. What a little bitch._

_ "Yeah, she did," Mrs. Hunsel said, as she pulled her grade book out. "I think it's time for you to get going back to class,"_

_ "UGH!" Ashleigh flung her long blonde hair over her shoulder as she made her way out of the choir room_

_ "Pay no mind to her, Arabella," she instructed, as Brantli and I made our way to our spots on the risers. "You two earned those parts. Congratulations,"_

_ Our heads had become higher as she told us these words. Ashleigh didn't mean much to me or my recent success. She was just someone that I had to knock out of my way to get to the top. And, apparently I had already done that. She could kiss my ass for all I cared._

_ "Oh, OP. Look who decided to walk with us today!" _

_ "Shut up," Brantli replied, taking a drag of her cigarette. _

_Jax wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. "What were you two doing these past few days anyway?" Opie asked us._

"_Oh, nothing," I said, suspicious lingering on every word._

"_As long as you guys weren't trying out for the school play," _

_Oh my God. Did they see the cast list? Was it on more than the choir door? "What?"_

"_You know; the school play. They're doing 'West Side' or something,"_

'"_Grease,'" I corrected him, as both of the boys looked at us. "We have choir, you know. That's all we hear about anymore,"_

"_Well, whatever it is, it's lame as hell. A bunch of people getting up on-stage and acting and singing and dancing around like a bunch of dweebs. It's not interesting whatsoever,"_

"_You're right," Brantli spoke up. "It is lame,"_

"_That's my girl," Opie said, furiously kissing her on the lips. I got chills down my spine as she said that. Sooner or later, the boys were bound to find out. I didn't like sneaking around behind their backs._

"_What's Gemma cooking, bro? I'm starving," Opie said, changing the subject around. Good, good. Let's just avoid anything having to do with 'Grease' for right now…_

"_I think barbecue chicken. But, I'm not sure," Jax started. "I sorda don't feel like going home,"_

"_John still there?" I asked. It'd been awhile since Jax and I had talked about life. I missed it, to tell you the truth._

"_Nope. He headed back to Belfast after him and Gemma got in a huge ass fight,"_

"_Shit," OP replied._

"_Nah, bro. Good riddens to him. I'm sick of his fucking shit. He might as well be dead to me,"_

"_Don't say that!" I broke apart from Jax's grip. How dare he?!_

"_Why not?!"_

"_He's your father, Jackson!"_

"_He's too much of a coward to be a father," we were silent after he said that. We approached the crosswalk that led us to Teller-Morrow towing. Walking across the street, there must've been 100 things swimming around in my mind. Why did John really leave this time? Why did he not want to be a father anymore, when that's all he wanted to be when we were younger? Why did Opie and Jax think school plays were lame? I wanted an answer to each one of these questions and if they weren't answered, I was probably going to go ballistic._

_ "Hey, kiddos! How was school?" Chibs asked as we made our way into the living room of the clubhouse minutes later. _

_ "Fan-fucking tastic!" Jax exclaimed, plopping down on the leather sofa. _

_ "Good, good," Tig said, as he took another swig of his Miller Lite._

_ "Where's Clay?" I asked, the room looking too empty without him there._

_ "At Jax's house with your mum, Jackie Boy," Chibs started. "Your father took off again this morning," this called for all of the guys to drink._

_ "I'm aware. Thanks," he spoke softly. _

_ "Can you pass me my history notebook?" I instructed Jax to do, as I plopped down next to him. _

_ "Really?" he joked, as he got up from his spot to fetch me my notebook. The guys gave him a look, but didn't say anything._

_ "Thank you!" I said, as he handed it to me._

_ "What's that?" he asked, as I opened up my notebook to the first page._

_ "What's what?"_

_ "Don't act stupid, Bella. Why do you have sheet music for the reprise of 'Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee?'"_

_ "Fuck!" Brantli exclaimed, burying her face in her hands._

_ "You guys were trying out for the school play, weren't you?" the guys at the bar began to laugh, as soon as Opie asked us this question._

_ "Worse," I looked at all three of my best friends sitting on the couch around me. "We're in the school play,"_

**A/N: Sorry that the past few chapters have been so short! I've been really busy with school and work and haven't had time to write a lot. I wanted to get past this part to really get to the meat and potatoes of how their freshman year is going to end. Something is going to happen that defies both of their relationships. It's going to start getting pretty intense in the next two chapters, I believe. Have your tissues ready for sure! Love you all, thanks for your continued support. I'm off work tomorrow, so I'm 100% sure a new chapter will be up. Also, quick shout-out to SilverAdvenger12 for guessing the parts that Arabella and Brantli will be playing! Hope to hear from you guys soon! **


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Three**

"_High school is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless."—_John Mayer

_**September, 1992**_

_ That summer, like many others that Jax and I had experienced together flew by. We finished off the rest of elementary school, then middle school together. Braison and Colton had both moved out and on with their lives. Braison and Allison became parents to a beautiful baby boy in December of 1989. Almost a year later, Jax experienced the first of many tragedies in his life. He lost his brother, Thomas. He was six years old._

_ It was sudden—very slow, dragging on for three gruesome days. It was caused by the same heart condition that both Gemma and Jax have. Gemma felt at fault everyday—John just wanted to get the hell away from it all. We'd been seeing a lot less of him these past two years. Clay had begun helping Gemma out a lot with taking care of Jax. He wasn't John, but he was the closest thing that Jax had to a dad right now. He and Gemma had both opened up their house to my brothers and I. They even gave my brothers the same looking leather cuts—which was rather nice of them. On the back read "Sons of Anarchy California" with the emblem of a grim reaper. We weren't allowed to know much more other than the fact that it was just a club, with a great set of guys who loved to drink, smoke and ride their Harleys. I guess this was one of the things that sucked about being fourteen years old—you didn't know anything about stuff you shouldn't know about._

_ And, Jax and I? We'd been through everything together. I loved that boy with all of my heart, and were essentially best friends. The guys in the club—mostly Tig, but sometimes Bobby, too—called me Jax's old lady. I didn't know what that meant either, so I didn't know whether to think it was good or bad. A lot of the times I shrugged it off, because I knew they were just playing with me. No one—or anything—was ever going to come between Jax and I. We were inseparable. _

_ "I don't understand how the hell I got stuck chauffeuring you guys to school," it was our first day at Charming High—a moment that we'd waited all last year for. One of JT's best friends and first 9 members of SAMCRO—Piney—was given the task of taking his son Opie, Jax and myself all the way on the other side of town. Opie had become one of our good friends—and, Jax's best guy friend. It didn't bother me much. He told OP stuff he could never tell me. Guy stuff, ya know? And, vice versa. _

_ "We appreciate it, Piney," I told him, as he pulled into the parking lot of the school._

_ "We'll be driving soon," Opie told his dad._

_ "Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say," Piney joked, as we all piled out of the car._

_ "Are you guys walking home afterwards?"_

_ OP and Jax both looked at each other. I knew they wanted to walk home so that they could have the chance to smoke. It didn't bother me much at all. _

_ "Sure," Jax told him._

_ "Alright. I'll see you guys back at the clubhouse after school. Have fun in hell, kids," Piney began to make his way out of the parking lot, as we looked up at the four story building. The only thing I had to look forward to after school was over was going to Teller-Morrow towing. Gemma watched me after school until around 6 or so, when my mom got off of work. She'd started working full time at St. Thomas Hospital as a pharmaceutical representative. I loved going there, because I got to see all of the guys—including my brothers._

_ "Let's just get this fucking day over with, okay?" Jax said under his breath._

_ "I haven't even stepped in yet and I already want a smoke," _

_ We all sighed, as we began the dreadful walk to what would be our prison for the next four years. All incoming freshman were instructed to go to the cafeteria to pick up their schedules. There were tables with the first letters of our last names printed on them. We grabbed them from the teachers working the tables, amidst all of the "Welcome to Charming High!" coming from each of them. _

_ OP, Jax and I compared our schedules side by side to one-another. We were all in the same homeroom, meaning there probably weren't that many kids in our freshman class, since our last names were pretty far apart from one-another. Then, we had algebra I, world history, and English together 2__nd__ through 4__th__ period. Opie and Jax then had introduction to mechanical engineering, physical science, then Spanish I. I had choir I, Latin, then physical science. I'd always done really well in school, so I was excited for my classes this year. Especially choir._

_ The bell let out it's chorus of rings as we made our way to room 202 for homeroom. As we all piled in and took a seat, the teacher introduced himself as Mr. Sveck, making sure to write it on the board so that we didn't forget. OP sat in front of me, with Jax on my right side. Opie was 6'1 and a half and had real long, dirty blonde hair. I couldn't see anything unless I cocked my head to the side. This was a good thing though because Mr. Sveck reminded me of Bob Saget—and not in a good way, either. _

_ Under his name, he wrote the number 30. Oh lord. What could that mean?_

_ "Welcome, class of 1996 to your first day of freshman year," our homeroom was soon filled with hollering and screaming, with some people even chanting '96, 96!' out loud. He let the commotion settle down, before speaking again. "My name is Mr. Sveck and this year we will be taking this educational journey together with me as your pilot," I really hope I didn't have him as a teacher for any more of my classes. Opie let out a small chuckle. "In order to graduate from Charming High School, you need 30 credits,"_

_ "Holy shit," I said under my breath, making sure he didn't hear me. I didn't love school that much to earn 30 credits._

_ "The state of California, by law says that you must complete 4 credits of math, science, English and history, followed by 2 credits of foreign language and career path classes, 6 elective credits, a freshman and senior seminar class, and one gym and one health credit," the class was quiet after this. We didn't know what to say. They never told any of us this last year. "Your classes switch off every semester, except for your core classes. The classes go for 80 minutes each, except homeroom and lunch, which are both a total of 30 minutes," he kept rambling on and on about shit that we really didn't care to know about. "You start school at 8 and get out at 3—unless you play sports or are involved in any extracurricular activities," "You must be here every day. The world is changing and soon, you really won't be able to do anything without a high school diploma,"_

_ "Is it too late to drop out now?" Jax asked me. I laughed. He was looking rather—older, I would say—today. His blonde hair was long like Opie's was. It was slicked back, and he wore a black t-shirt and a pair of denim blue jeans, paired with Converse. His blue eyes had a certain twinkle about them, and it didn't know if it was because he was pissed, or missing his brother or his dad. _

_ "How many of you are planning on going to college?"_

_ I raised my hand, and so did half of my homeroom class. I stared at both Jax and Opie, until they raised their hands. Both of them, whether they liked it or not were going to college. _

_ "You think you'll have homework tonight?" Jax asked me, as Svecky kept rambling on about college. _

_ "Fuck, I hope not," _

_ "We should hang out at my place after we get back from the club house. Maybe we could rent a movie or something?"_

_ I nodded my head. "Sure. That sounds good,"_

_ "You want to invite Opie?" I asked, pointing at the back of his gray zip-up hoodie._

_ "No. I really would just rather it be me and you," for some reason, when Jax said this, it sent chills down my spine. Just me and him? Oh Lord. I was fine with it, of course—actually, pretty happy. It hasn't been just me and him in a long time._

_ "I'll have Gemma drive us to the video store on our way home,"_

_ "Okay," I replied back. This was going to be a long year. And, I was nowhere near ready for it._

**A/N: I just wanted to say a quick thank you for all of the reviews and follows on this story. I'm new to the SOA fandom, and it means a lot to me for your guys' support. Stay tuned, because there's so much more to come! I'm going to try (really, really hard) to update as often as possible with school and work taking over my life—maybe every two days or so? Thanks again! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. In the next couple of them, there's gonna be a lot of major stuff going on. Are you ready?!**

**-April**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

"_Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."—_Dr. Seuss

_I couldn't even begin to tell you how humiliated I was as I walked back into my house that night. The only three people that I wanted to be with right now were gone—probably out having fun themselves. They probably didn't even want to talk to me right now. Hell, they'd probably laugh at me if I showed up at the clubhouse looking how I did right now. Mascara had made its way down my face, my eyes were all puffy and red, my mood had gone from excited to sour in the matter of an hour. _

_ My mom and dad were out to dinner right now, too—something that they did once a week to "keep their marriage alive". I'm sure Braison and Alyssa were tending to their family matters. Who could I call?_

_ Then, it was if God himself had heard me, I guess because the house phone began to ring. I cleared my throat before greeting the person on the other end. It was Colton._

_ "I'm on my way over," he said, before even greeting me back. That was the good thing about brothers—they could always sense when something was wrong._

_ Colton had arrived within the hour to find me spread out on the living room floor. "I thought you had a date tonight," were the words that he said as he walked through the door._

_ "So did I," I told him._

_ "Did that little fucker stand you up?"_

_ I couldn't even look at him after he said that, because he knew what my answer was going to be. _

_ "Oh, God. Ara," he came over to me and wrapped me in his arms for one of his famous bear hugs. I straightened myself up, and leaned my head on his shoulder. "Boys are dumb,"_

_ "Gee, thanks for telling me that now,"_

_ "You're welcome," he chuckled._

_ "I just thought it was going to be different this time, you know? Especially after Jax and I got in a fight…"_

_ "He told me,"_

_ "Seriously?!" I exclaimed. "Damn,"_

_ "He was upset, Arabella. He didn't know who else to talk to. You're the one he usually goes to when he's stressed out about John. He felt betrayed,"_

_ "He doesn't want to be with me though, Colton,"_

_ "You don't know that. Have you ever actually asked him what his views on a relationship between you guys were?"_

_ "I mean, it hasn't been mentioned directly, but…"_

_ "Sometimes, you have to cut people a break. Especially guys. They don't know what they want a lot of the time. And, when they do they don't always go after it right away," he paused for a moment. "Do you know how long it Braison to ask Alyssa out? Two years, girly. And look where they are now," _

_ "True,"_

_ "If Jackson's what you want, then you need to go after him. Maybe it's a good thing that Matt stood you up tonight. It shows you who wanted you for you, ya know?"_

_ "Mhm," I told him._

_ "He'll come around. He loves you, Arabella. I know. You know. The whole fucking club knows!" _

_ I chuckled at that remark. That was true. "Are they at the clubhouse?"_

_ "I'm not telling you," he joked. "I didn't come over to give you a lecture on boys, Ara. I wanted you to help me shop for Christmas presents, then maybe we could go grab a very late dinner,"_

_ I smiled. "Sounds way better than what my plans were for tonight," _

_ "I agree. So, go upstairs and wash all that make-up off your face so we can hurry up and go to the mall before they close,"_

_ I gave Colton an awkward side-hug when he finished talking. "I love you, bro. I don't know where I'd be without you,"_

_ "Probably sprawled out on the floor like I found you,"_

_ "You're hilarious,"_

_ "I try," he chuckled. "I love you too, little sis," _

_ The outing to the mall and to dinner was a success that night. He tried to keep my mind off of Jax the best that he could. I knew that they were all hanging out at the clubhouse though. "Why don't we head back home, pop in a Christmas movie and have some hot chocolate?" he suggested as we sat in our regular booth at T's. _

_ "Sounds good," I replied. Colton had helped me a lot through that night. It was nice of him to do—especially since it was rare that we spent this much time together anymore. We headed back to my house after we finished up at the restaurant and popped 'Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer' into the VHS player. _

_ "You sit down, I'll make the hot chocolate," he insisted, as Colton made his way into the kitchen. _

_ "Whatever you say," I said, grabbing a comforter from the side of the couch. It was no surprise to me that when I sat down, however the doorbell rang._

_ "Where is she?" I heard Opie's voice ask Colton, as the three of them stood in the doorway._

_ "Living room," _

_ "What?" Brantli asked him. "She had that date with Matt tonight," it was nearing 11 o'clock—I guess she thought we'd be out past 10._

_ "I know," Colton replied. "Things weren't going so well, so she called me and had me pick her up,"_

_ "She got stood up, didn't she?" Jax asked._

_ Colton didn't speak a word, but Opie replied that he was going to beat his ass in. Brantli stormed into the living room, and saw me sitting on the couch._

_ "Hi," I told her._

_ "You poor thing!" she called out, as she rushed over to give me a hug. "It's okay. He was kind of a conceited ass anyway,"_

_ "I'm over it. Believe me," _

_ "I'll stay the night tonight, okay?"_

_ "You don't have to, Brantli if you'd rather be with Opie,"_

_ "He doesn't matter right now. The greatest girl in the world just got stood up and she needs her best friend,"_

_ "You're the sweetest, I swear,"_

_ "I know," she shrugged her shoulders as the guys made their way into the living room. _

_ "I told them they could stay," Colton spoke up. "If that's okay with you guys,"_

_ "I'd just like to say that I didn't stand you up, and I love Bumbles and I want to stay," Opie replied. We all burst out in a sea of laughter. _

_ Jax looked at me, as our eyes met. "I'm sorry, babe," _

_ I shrugged my shoulders. "Shit happens, right?"_

_ "Yes, yes it does. Now, Arabella and Jackson, shut up so that I can hear the snowman sing and I can cuddle with Brantli,"_

_ "You're strange, Opie," I told him._

_ "Brantli doesn't seem to mind too much," he kissed her on the forehead, as she did one better and kissed his lips. The duo headed to the other couch, as Jackson and I sat on the elongated one—keeping our distance. We still weren't "there" yet—and that was okay with me, I guess. Colton made his way into the living room, passing out the hot chocolate mugs to us. There were no toasts, no laughing. It was just us, beginning to patch up whatever we had lost these past few weeks. As the movie started though, I couldn't help but remind myself to not cuddle with Jackson—although every moral fiber in my body wanted to._

_ "You're gonna find your prince charming soon," he told me, as the movie had ended an everyone else was asleep. "I promise you,"_

_ "Maybe you'll be him," I mumbled under my breath. It was no use though. He didn't care, so why should I?_

**A/N: Beyond excited to get the holiday stuff written! What are some of your Christmas traditions? Leave love as always. Hope to have two more chapters written by Saturday!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen**

"_I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."_—Marilyn Monroe

_I guess it wasn't too shocking when Christmas break had finally decided to greet us on a Friday afternoon. Finals were completed, homework packets were sent out and report cards were sent home. I was elated—all A's. I couldn't believe that I'd accomplished that. My mom and dad were going to be so proud of me. If only they were home…_

_They'd made plans to go out on a one week cruise to Hawaii. Their marriage counselor said that it would be best, and might end up patching things up between them. When I asked if I could go with, they told me that they'd love to take me with, but couldn't. To be honest, I was really upset with the entire thing. Especially when they told me where I'd be staying for a whole week: the Teller's. How fantastic._

_Walking home with Jackson was unusual today. Opie and Brantli didn't go to school today, so it was just the dynamic duo. If only we still were that._

"_My mom's probably going to be baking when we go in," Jax for-warned me, as we made our way across the crosswalk. We were told to come straight to the Teller's and to not go to the clubhouse today. It was all fine with me, especially because I was still beyond humiliated about last Saturday._

"_Oh, alright," I told him, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. However, it wasn't._

"_How's Matt?"_

"_How would I know?" I asked. I haven't talked to him, except for when we needed to speak at rehearsal. Other than that, I was never given a reason as to why I was stood up._

"_I was just wondering," Jax said under his breath. The conversation ended there, and we were silent until we reached the front door of the Teller's home. It was a familiar sight and made me feel a sort of nostalgia. The tree was set up in front of the oversized front glass window in the living room. The tree itself was bare, and no presents sat under it either. The rest of the living room was covered in garland and the usual Christmas knick-knacks. John was real big on this holiday stuff. I could only imagine that they didn't want things to be different this year. The aroma of freshly baked cookies and cinnamon lingered throughout the house, while Christmas carols played on the stereo. I couldn't help but smile as I made my way into the kitchen to be greeted by Clay and Gemma._

"_Hi sweetie," Clay told me, as I made my way over to them. I couldn't tell you the last time I saw either one of them—which was pathetic. To go from spending every day over here to hardly ever coming around made me sad. I blamed Jax, but I also blamed myself._

"_Hi," I told him back, as I gave him an awkward side hug. Gemma greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. _

"_You want to help? I just put the last batch of chocolate chip cookies in. I was planning on making the peanut butter ones next,"_

"_Absolutely," I told her._

"_Jax, can you take Ara's stuff up to the guest room? I've got it all set up for her,"_

"_Jax, it's okay. You don't have to,"_

"_That's nonsense. He can do it. Can't you?" Gemma asked him._

"_Sure," he shrugged his shoulders. I handed him both my suitcase and my duffle bag._

"_Thank you," I replied, as Gemma motioned for me to grab an apron._

"_How have you been honey? We haven't seen you around lately,"_

"_I know. I've been real busy with school," was the rational answer that I could give both of them. I grabbed the large, red mixing bowl off of the opposite counter and walked back over to where I was standing. Gemma handed me the recipe card, and I began rummaging through the ingredients that were already set out. _

"_What kind of grades did you get?"_

"_Straight A's," I chuckled._

"_That's wonderful," Clay said._

"_Thanks," I replied back. "Did Jax tell you I got the lead in the school play?"_

"_He did. That's great, too,'_

"_I'm really excited," I answered back, as I began pouring two cups of flour into the bowl. Following that went one cup of brown sugar, four eggs, one cup sugar, vanilla extract, and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. _

"_You and Jax okay?" _

_Clay took a long sip of his beer as Gemma asked this question. I could tell he was waiting for an answer to this question, too. Jax was probably eavesdropping at the top of the stairs waiting for the reply. Why was this anyone's business about Jax and me? Aren't people allowed to drift apart?_

"_No, not really," I chuckled shyly and adjusted the scarf around my neck. "But, I think we'll be okay. Hopefully," I really hoped we would be okay. Jax was my best friend. I never hoped—or wanted to—lose the best thing that's ever happened to me. Gemma and Clay both rolled their eyes as I went back to furiously mixing the cookie dough together. I'd given myself one week to either get over him completely and go back to just being friends or ask him how he felt. I didn't have the courage to do either. Why did life have to be so difficult?_

_ "Jax, you shouldn't be eating all of the popcorn. Some of it does have to do on the tree you know,"_

_ "Ah, fuck! Who the hell put these damn lights away like this last year?!"_

_ "I can't find any of the ornaments, Gemma. Do you know where they might be?"_

_ "Really, Clay? You don't know how to close the match box when you're done with them?!"_

_ There was such commotion going on in the Teller's living room that night, I didn't know what to make of it. Assortments of white lights were thrown all over the carpeted floor. The smell of freshly baked cookies was no longer in the air. It'd been replaced by the smell of popcorn. Brantli and I had been rummaging through the attic to try to find all of the boxes of Christmas decorations. Opie, Jax, and Clay were seated on the floor in front of the fireplace attempting to get more of the lights out of the tangled messes that they were stuck in. Well, Clay was working at the lights. The boys were eating popcorn, in attempt to string it. Gemma was seated on the couch, enjoying multiple hits off of her cigarette. She was the most stressed of all of us. _

_ "Want some, mom?" Jax asked, sticking the bowl in front of Gemma's face. _

_ "You're a fucking jokester, aren't you?" Gemma laughed._

_ "Nah, I'm just trying to piss you off,"_

_ "It's succeeding, buddy,"_

_ "Son of a bitch. Jackson, could you stop stringing popcorn for just one fucking second and help me out here?" Clay asked him._

_ "It's just a few lights, bro. Quit your whining," Jax joked, setting the bowl of popcorn down next to Opie._

_ "I'm gonna backhand you in about two seconds," Clay told him. He was serious. _

_ "We found them," Brantli told Gemma, as we made our way back into the living room carrying two cardboard boxes full of ornaments. _

_ "Thank God," Gemma finished her cigarette off and threw the squished butt in the ashtray on the coffee table._

_ "I'm on the last string of lights," Clay announced. "So, we'll start stringing them in a minute,"_

_ As soon as he said that, each one of us grabbed an untangled string and grasped it in our hands. Clay wrapped his strand around the tree first seconds later. Soon, the 8 ½ foot tree was covered top to bottom in beautiful, twinkling lights. Next came the few strings of popcorn that the boys had finished. One strand went on the top, with one a little more down in the middle of the tree. _

_ One the interior of the tree was finally decorated, the only task we had left to do was to put the ornaments on. Jax opened up the first cardboard box and began to put the circular balls on the tree. They ranged from silver to bright pink, and brought the tree to life. After those were put up, we began putting the novelty ornaments on. First went a Harley Davidson bike ornament—representative of the family in general. After that came both Thomas' and Jax's 'my first Christmas' ornaments. Afterwards came a key labeled 'our first Christmas'—representing John and Gemma's first Christmas at this house. I picked up Bobby's Elvis ornament and smiled as I hung it on a branch. _

_ "Oh my God," I heard Opie say under his breath, as he picked up an ornament that they had specially made for Thomas. It was in the shape of an angel and read 'I love you all dearly, so don't shed a tear; I'm spending my Christmas with Jesus this year,' _

_ "My mom got that for them," I told him. On the back, it read 'Thomas Raymond Teller' with his date of birth and his date of death. It was heartbreaking, really to think Thomas wouldn't be here again this year._

_ "Who's Thomas?" Brantli asked me._

_ "Jax's brother that passed away two years ago," I couldn't believe it'd already been two years._

_ "Holy shit," Brantli said under her breath. She placed her ornament—a grim reaper—farther down the tree._

_ "I'm gonna take it this one's Arabella's," Jax spoke aloud, as he picked up a silver, glitter music note._

_ "I think so," Gemma told him. He smiled at me, before placing it on the tree. _

_ After placing a few more novelty ornaments on there, Clay slipped the tree skirt on the bottom of it. Gemma pulled the gold star out of the bottom of the box, and said 'Who wants to place the star on top?'_

_ "Let the kids do it," Clay told us._

_ "No, Clay. I think you should," Jax told him._

_ "Why me, kiddo?" he asked._

_ "Because you've been here for me this year when the fucktard that my mom married bailed. You've helped us out so much. You deserve to put it up there,"_

_ Clay smiled at all of us, and gave Jax a huge hug. He'd never had a family of his own, so I could tell this was the closest one that he had. If John never came back home, I could definitely see him and Gemma getting together—as weird as that may sound. The way they looked at each other was much like how Jax and I did: like they were in love. Without any further hesitation, Clay grabbed the star from Gemma, got up on the step stool, and placed it at the top of the tree. _

**A/N: This is the first of three chapters that I hope to have done by (cross your fingers) late tonight/tomorrow night. Leave lots of love. You guys are the best. Thanks for helping me to make it this far. **


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen**

"_If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."_—A.A. Milne: 'Winnie the Pooh'

_The commotion had finally settled down within the next two hours. Brantli and Opie made their way up to the other two guest rooms that the Teller's house possessed. It was near 11 when we all finally settled down to go to bed. I was exhausted: both mentally and emotionally. _

_ I had just finished changing into a pair of long black, white, and gray flannel pajama pants and a gray t-shirt when I heard a knock at the bedroom door. "Come in," I called to the person on the other side. The door creaked open, only to reveal Jackson Teller standing there. "Oh God, what do you want?" That had come out rather mean, I'll have to admit it._

_ "Gemma told me to tell you to shut your window because it's supposed to snow tonight,"_

_ I looked at Jax with a puzzled expression on my face. "Uh, okay? Thanks,"_

_ He cleared his throat. "You're welcome,"_

_ "You didn't come in here just to tell me to shut my window, did you?"_

_ "Nope," he smiled his infamous smile. "Can I come in?"_

_ I couldn't say no to him. "Sure," I took a seat at the top of the queen sized bed, as he sat on the edge of it. "So, what's up?"_

_ "I just wanted to talk,"_

_ "About?"_

_ "These past few months," he sighed. _

_ "Alright,"_

_ "I was an idiot,"_

_ "Yes, yes you were," I couldn't agree with him more. _

_ "I'm just scared, okay? I'm fucking terrified,"_

_ "Of what, Jackson?!"_

_ "Of disappointing you!" he exclaimed. I never thought that he'd say that to me. "You're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again. You mean the world to me. I'm never going to let you go,"_

_ "What do you mean let me go? You don't have me, Jackson!"_

_ "But, I could," he started. "And, once I have you I'm never letting go,"_

_ "What do you mean by that?"_

_ "I'm never letting go of you, ever. I'm going to do my best to protect you with every moral fiber in my body. I'm going to love you until the day I die, Arabella Nevaeh,"_

_ I could feel my throat begin to tighten. I needed to stop myself from crying before I did. "Okay,"_

_ "I want to be with you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to know everything about you—even though I already know pretty much everything there is to know. I want to marry you, and raise a family with you. I want our kids to have kids so that we can become grandparents and spoil the hell out of them. I want to sit on the back porch of our homes in our rocking chairs and look back on our lives," he was getting really worked up about all of this. So was I. "I want you to be my old lady. I know I've made a lot of mistakes and I've ignored you for the past month. I'm really, really sorry baby. I never want that to happen again. And, it won't,"_

_ "Why now, Jackson? Why all of a sudden?" I began to make my way down to the edge of the bed._

_ "I've felt this way about you since I was seven," he began again. "I've never allowed myself to fall in love with you, though. I didn't want it to ruin our friendships or our hearts in the process. But, I realized that in life, you have to take chances to survive. You have to just go with your gut and…"_

_ I leaned in to kiss him, as tears began trailing down from my eyes to my chin. "You talk too damn much,"_

_ "I know," he laughed. "I love you,"_

_ "I know. You keep reminding me very well,"_

_ I could feel his baby blue eyes look into my green ones. It sent chills up and down my trembling body. My heart was racing faster than it had been in a long time._

_ "I have a question for you though," he said._

_ "Shoot," I replied._

_ "Will you be my old lady?" he chuckled. I knew it was coming but I still couldn't believe it when he said it._

_ "What do you think?" I asked._

_ He nodded his head. It was his turn to kiss me, and he did just that._

_ "You want me to sleep in here, or do you want to come back to my room with me?"_

_ "Gemma and Clay will kill us if they see us sleeping together," _

_ "Fuck them!" Jax exclaimed, as he wrapped his arm around me. I pulled the top comforter over us, followed by my Harley blanket. _

_ "This is nice," I replied._

_ "Good. I'm not going anywhere,"_

_ "You promise?"_

_ "I promise,"_

_ It was insane how fate had its way of working out. There was nothing else in the world that I could possibly want for Christmas. Jax was anything and everything that I'd ever wanted—ever._

_ The following morning, I woke up in the arms of my newly declared boyfriend. It was nice, for a change. _

_ "Good morning beautiful," he told me._

_ "Morning," I replied back, as he kissed my forehead._

_ "Look outside," he instructed. _

_ I immediately threw the blankets off of my body and rushed to the window on the opposite side of the room. A thick, 2 foot blanket of pure, white snow covered the ground. And, it was still managing to come down. California weather was so weird and unpredictable—especially since we were up in the northern part by Washington. It didn't bother me much though—I loved snow. _

_ "What did you want to do today?" he asked me, as I crawled back into bed._

_ "I don't know. What is there to do?" There really wasn't much to do in Charming. That was one of the downfalls of living in such a small town. _

_ Jax smiled. "I mean, I've got a plan. You owe me a rain check, remember?" _

_ I'd almost forgotten about it until Jackson said something. "Oh yeah, that's right,"_

_ "So, I'll take that rain check now," he started. "I have a great day planned for us,"_

_ "And, Brantli and Opie too, right?"_

_ "If you insist, Bella," _

_ "I do. Thanks,"_

_ "You're difficult to cooperate with in the morning,"_

_ I laughed. "I'm gonna take a quick shower,"_

_ "Can I join you?"_

_ "Can I punch you?" I asked him jokingly. "Maybe some other time,"_

_ He leaned back on one of the pillows and pouted—one of the many Jackson Teller faces that drove me crazy. _

_ It was freezing by the time I shooed Jax out of the room after my shower. I dressed in a pair of straight legged denim jeans that hugged each one of my curves, followed by a blank tank top and a white sweater, my cropped leather jacket, and teal scarf. My makeup was kept simple, and my naturally curly hair hung flat around my face. I slipped my boots on and began to make my way down to the Teller's kitchen. Neither Clay nor Gemma was home—meaning that they were at the clubhouse. The snow kept falling down outside. _

_ "Oh, look. You're finally ready," Opie told me._

_ "Good morning to you, too," I replied to his smart-ass comment. _

_ "Let's go!" Jax exclaimed, as we made sure to grab gloves from the closet. _

_ The day began with us heading out for a quick breakfast at T's. It was decorated for Christmas, and felt like it as soon as we walked in. The hot chocolate was bottomless and the pancakes hit the spot. We trekked on to a few small shops in downtown Charming—the boys making us tell them when we saw something that caught our eye. Christmas Eve was tomorrow, and if they didn't buy our presents yet, they were screwed. Next, we headed out to the corner tattoo parlor. The owner's name was Kyle, and he'd done all of the guy's tattoos. _

_ "Jax, what are you doing?" I asked him, as he stepped up to the front counter._

_ "I'm thinking it's time to get another tattoo," Jax had gotten his first one almost eight months ago. What could he want now?_

_ "What're you going to get?"_

_ "I'm not getting anything. I think maybe you ought to get one,"_

_ "You're fucking insane," I knew what he wanted me to get, too. Each one of the old ladies had a crow on the very bottom of their back—where you'd most likely get a tramp stamp. I settled on getting my nose pierced, despite how much my mom and dad were going to bitch about it. As much as I wanted a tattoo though, I just couldn't. Not right now, at least. Brantli and Opie both got the date they began dating in small roman numerals—Brantli's going on her side, and Opie's going on his chest. _

_ "I like the roman numeral idea," Jax said to them, as he walked out without a fresh tattoo on him. I think he was hoping I'd cave in and get one. _

_ We stopped at the clubhouse so that Brantli and Opie could show off their newest tattoos. It was weird being here for the first time in almost a month. It was good to see everyone though. Tig brewed us up some hot chocolate, as we stayed there for almost an hour. _

_ It was dark by 5 o'clock that afternoon. "There's still one more part to our day," Opie told both Brantli and I. Oh boy, what could that possibly be?_

_ Chibs had a hand in blindfolding us. The guys wanted everything to be a complete surprise. Tig was responsible for getting me to Jax, while Big Otto was responsible for getting Brantli to Opie. This was so strange, yet probably destined to be romantic._

_ As Tig took the red bandana off from my eyes, I couldn't believe what I saw in front of me. The small source of water just a few minutes away was completely frozen over. The top of the gazebo was covered in snow, and around it hung garland and lights. A table sat in the middle, and held snacks and a chilled bottle of Coca Cola for us._

_ "I don't know what to say," I was near tears. This was the sweetest thing they'd ever done for us._

_ "Merry almost Christmas," Jax chuckled. "We wanted to do this tonight, because the snow is supposed to pick up over the next couple of days. We were going to hold out for Christmas,"_

_ "No, no it's beautiful," Brantli said._

_ "Why don't you guys put your skates on?" Opie smiled, as they handed us each a pair of ice skates. Jax grabbed me by the hands as soon as my skates were laced up. It wasn't a big area, but it was just big enough for us. The gang was all back together again—laughing, smiling and having a great time—the way our lives as teenagers was meant to be spent. What none of us knew though was how much we were going to need each other as the past couple of days droned on. _


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen**

"_A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together,"—_Garrison Keillor

_The snow had picked up so bad as the afternoon of Christmas Eve had approached us. It was just Jax, Gemma, Clay and I partaking in the annual Teller family traditions this year. My mom and dad had called me to tell me how great Hawaii was. It was upsetting that I couldn't spend the holidays with them. But, I was right where I wanted to be._

_ "I don't know if we should even go to church," I overheard Gemma and Clay talking downstairs, as I finished curling the last bit of my blonde highlighted hair. _

_ "We've got to, Gemma. We go every year," _

_ "Do you see the snow outside?" Gemma said, with concern in her voice._

_ "The church is right up the road. I think we'll be okay," Clay chuckled. They were silent for a moment after that—probably so they could kiss. It didn't bother me much. Gemma deserved to be happy. Wow, was I actually saying something nice about her? Haha, just kidding of course. I loved her like another mother and she didn't deserve any of the shit that John was doing to her._

_ Every year, majority of SAMCRO went to church on Christmas Eve—and Christmas Eve only. They really weren't men of God—the war had changed some of their views on that one. My mom and dad however were religious and made Colton, Braison and myself go to church whenever we could when we were younger. Once we reached the age of 15, however, we could decide whether or not if we wanted to go. My answer differed on the day, a lot of the time. I enjoyed going, but, I didn't think it was right to be judged for the things I'd done wrong in life. So far, it was just smoking and almost making love to Jackson Teller. This day in age, that was pretty close to sainthood. _

_ We thought we'd stop off at Thomas' gravesite first. Jackson gripped tighter to me as Gemma had us say a prayer. Gemma and Clay were both hiding behind their sunglasses, as the sun tried to break through the clouds. We set poinsettias down and said our goodbyes, making our way back to Gemma's SUV. We all couldn't bear to be there any longer. I didn't understand why this Christmas had to be so difficult. _

_ Christmas Eve service at St. James was always the longest—especially with my nephew attempting to sit on the lap of my black pencil skirt. SAMCRO normally took up 6 pews in the front of the church. Most of the town thought the club was somewhat of a nuisance, but the guys had an 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. They were here because Gemma wanted them to be here. And, it was the right thing to do. _

_ Paisley fell asleep on my chest before service had ended. I handed him off to Alyssa, whom thanked me up and down for holding onto him. It wasn't too often that I saw them, so it was the least I could do. Brantli and Opie were seated in front of Jax and I. We had our hands intertwined in each other's and were paying close attention to the everlasting sermon that Father Pat was speaking about. _

_ Once he finished, we were told to light our candles, as the music for 'Silent Night' began. We were told to sing it in English, and then in German as 'Stile Nacht'. As soon as the service ended, we all sprinted out the doors of the church and headed back to the clubhouse._

_ Each year, we all got to open one present. Brantli was excited to take part in our annual traditions. I knew what the present was before even opening it—pajamas. We got pajamas every fucking year._

_ This year though, it was a pair of Beauty and the Beast pajama bottoms with a purple glitter top. This was probably Jackson's doing, but the front of the box was labeled from Gemma. _

_ "Thank you," I replied back to her._

_ "Anytime, kiddo,"_

_ I was so tempted to give Jax his present tonight, but, Brantli did me one better. "Can I talk to you?" she asked me, as the girls began setting up for dinner._

_ "Sure," I replied, as she took me by the hand and led me into the guest bedroom. "Is something wrong?"_

_ "Well, I mean…I don't know,"_

_ "Brantli, you're my best friend. You can tell me anything,"_

_ "You've gotta promise you won't tell a soul, okay?"_

_ "Alright," I said, as she stuck her pinky out. I crossed mine with hers, as she inhaled, then exhaled deeply._

_ I wasn't expecting these next words to come out of her mouth, so, when they did, I was taken back. _

_ "I'm pregnant,"_

_ Waking up on Christmas morning was such a special moment for the both of us. This was our first Christmas spent as a couple, and we were going to soak up every moment of it. _

_ Our stockings hung on the chimney (with care, I might add) and they were the first thing that we went to as we creeped down the stairs that morning. Gemma was seated on the couch with her camera in hand. _

_ I dug in mine to find a gift card to one of the clothing stores at the mall, along with a box of Sour Patch Kids—my favorite candy. Jax found a gift card to the Harley Davidson store, and a box of Everlasting Gobstoppers. He picked the nastiest candy to enjoy, I swear._

_ Gemma, Clay, Jax and I seated ourselves on the floor by the Christmas tree. There were only a few presents under there—my mom and dad didn't give Gemma any before they went on vacation, it seemed like. But, Christmas to me really wasn't about the presents—it was about the spirit of giving. And, when Jax made it to my present, I smiled from ear to ear._

_ "To Teller, from Springsteen—I love you," he read my tag for the present aloud. "Awe, I love you too,"_

_ "Awe, I'm gonna be sick," Gemma joked._

_ Jax tore the tissue paper out of the bag as he picked up the contents. The first was something that Colton had helped me pick out—an Armani leather jacket. Jax's face lit up—he couldn't believe what he was holding in his hands._

_ "Holy fuck," Clay replied. "Armani?" _

_ "Yeah," I told him. _

_ "That's nice, Arabella,"_

_ "There's more," I told Jax. "Check the pocket," inside of the front pocket was yet another Harley Davidson gift card—this time, it being for $100 dollars. _

_ "Fuck, pretty soon I'll be able to buy a Harley with this," he told me. "Thank you," he leaned over to give me a kiss._

_ "You're welcome," _

_ Clay opened mine up next. It was a gift card as well, along with a pair of new riding boots. They happened to be on sale, and I happened to like Clay just a little bit. He was a good guy._

_ "Thanks, Bella," he smiled, mocking Jax._

_ "You're welcome," I told him. _

_ "Did you get me a gift card, too?" _

_ "No," I told her, feeling a little bit offended. You couldn't take anything that Gemma Teller told you to heart though._

_ "Okay, good," she said, grabbing her present from me out from under the tree. Her present was a new pair of black high heeled boots, a leather crop jacket with studs on it, and a certificate to the beauty salon up the road. _

_ "In case you ever want to get your hair done or anything,"_

_ "Thank you, sweetie," she said, as a smile lit up on her face as well. _

_ "You're welcome. You guys do too much for me. I wish I could do more,"_

_ "It's our pleasure, really. We're glad to have you back,"_

_ "It's good to be back," I told her, as Jax wrapped his arm around me._

_ "You can open the ones from us now," Gemma said._

_ I grabbed the joint one from Gemma and Clay first. It was a gorgeous set of Cocoa Chanel perfume, along with a matching purse. I was in awe by it. Those purses were 3x the amount of money that I had spent on them. _

_ "Oh my God," I said, looking at both of them. "You didn't have to do this, you know,"_

_ "Yeah, but we wanted to,"_

_ "I appreciate it. Thank you," I said. I set the perfume and purse back in the bag, and grabbed Jax's present. The content in that was something that I never would have expected him to get me. The first was a baby-doll pink leather jacket. It was custom made: 'Arabella' was in small, cursive writing on the front, with 'PINK LADIES' in cursive writing on the back._

_ "Jackson Kyle!" I exclaimed._

_ "That's not all," he told me, smiling. "Check your pocket as well,"_

_ I'm glad that I did. Inside of the front pocket sat a box labeled 'Kay'. I placed it in my hands and opened it up, revealing a set of diamond earrings. _

_ "Holy fucking shit," I was at a loss for words. "Jackson, thank you,"_

_ "Hey, you're my girlfriend. I wanted to get you something nice, okay?"_

_ I nodded my head. He kissed me, as we finished opening the rest of the presents from under the tree. It was a little dull, but it was okay. The annual SAMCRO Christmas party was tonight—and, I still needed to give Jax part three of his present._

_ Part of me still didn't know what to say to Brantli when I saw her. The clubhouse was in such an uproar that I didn't know if I'd get to talk to her at all. People were pulling me in every direction to tell me how gorgeous I'd gotten since they last saw me, or offer me a drink. I'd never drank alcohol before, and I was planning on keeping it that way tonight. Christmas carols played overhead, making it hard to talk to most of the people that were at the party. A lot of the times, we had to repeat ourselves. By the time Lenny tried to have a conversation with me, I gave up and sat down on one of the bar stools._

_ "Are you sure you don't want a drink?" one of the bar maids asked me._

_ "I'm sure," I smiled politely at her._

_ "Have one!" Tig and Chibs yelled in unison._

_ "Have you ever drank before?" Tig asked me._

_ "Nope," I replied._

_ "Try it. Cecilia, give her a Miller Lite and a shot of Jack Daniels,"_

_ "Don't listen to them. A Sprite's fine,"_

_ "You're chicken, aren't you?"_

_ "No," I told them._

_ "Honey, if you're gonna be an old lady, you've gotta learn how to get a strong stomach. Just have one shot and a beer, and if you don't like it you don't have to ever drink it again,"_

_ That wasn't the problem, Chibs. What if I did like it? I took my eyes off the entire stock of alcohol sitting in front of me behind the bar and noticed Gemma dancing with Clay. I grabbed the Miller in my hands, and Gemma gave me thumbs up. Ugh, the girls and their damn thumbs up. I took a sip, as Chibs and Tig cheered. Jax made his way up to the bar, and stuck something beside my head. "Mistletoe," he said, in a sing-song voice. _

_ "Awe, look. Jackie Boy has him a little plant,"_

_ "You do know what you do under mistletoe, right?" Jax asked me._

_ "Yes, ass. I do," I replied, before kissing him on the lips. _

_ "Awe!" Chibs and Tig said in unison, taking another shot of Jack Daniels. The bar maid poured Jackson and I a shot, and we chugged them down. My stomach was already beginning to hurt. _

_ "Brantli's been looking for you,"_

_ "Where is she?!"_

_ "In the guest room. I told her as soon as I found you; I'd bring you in there," _

_ "Thanks babe," I replied, as I jumped off of the stool, landing right on the heel of my bright red pumps._

_ "You picked a good one, Jackson,"_

_ "You don't have to tell me twice,"_

_ "Hey," I told her, once I walked into the room. "Are you okay?"_

_ "Yeah. I wanted to give you your Christmas present, silly,"_

_ "Oh!" I exclaimed, as I sat down on the bed. "I have yours, too,"_

_ "Good," she smiled at me. Brantli handed me my present first. It was in a rectangular box from Charming Charley's. I opened it up, as a silver charm bracelet sat inside. _

_ "I figured we could add charms as we went. I bought myself one, too. So, I can add charms to yours and you can add charms to mine," there were already 3 on the bracelet—half of a 'best friend' heart, a snowflake, and a music note. _

_ "That sounds like a great plan to me," I handed her the bag with her present in it. "Open it,"_

_ She did as I told her to, as she pulled out a black leather jacket. "Yours is Armani like Jax's" I told her._

_ "I don't know how great this is going to fit once I balloon up," she chuckled. "But, thank you,"_

_ "You can always wear it after you have the baby,"_

_ "I'm not too sure I want to be a mom, Arabella," we set our presents to the side. Shit was about to get serious._

_ "What do you mean?"_

_ "I mean, I'm scared,"_

_ "I know you are," I said. "You have every right to be,"_

_ "I haven't told Opie yet. I go to the doctor's on Wednesday morning to confirm everything,"_

_ "You should be excited, too. Opie loves kids. He's gonna love being a dad,"_

_ "I just never imagined being a mom in high school, you know? Do you realize how hard that's going to be?" she paused for a second. "I'm failing every single one of my classes. Topping that off with a baby would just be the icing on the cake for me not going to college. And, in the play, Rizzo gets pregnant while she's in high school. Go fucking figure, right?"_

_ "You guys could always consider adoption,"_

_ "Or abortion,"_

_ "You better fucking not," I exclaimed. "I'll beat the fucking shit out of you. I don't care if we're best friends. It's not that kid's fault that you decided to climb into bed and have sex unprotected,"_

_ "The condom broke, Arabella," Brantli looked at me, as tears began to form on the sides of her eyes._

_ "Oh," I replied, sounding like a complete asshole. "You know, everything happens for a reason,"_

_ "So I've been told,"_

_ "Maybe, you getting pregnant just shows that you and Opie are meant to be for the rest of your lives,"_

_ "Or, maybe it's meant to tell you that you and Jax shouldn't have sex tonight,"_

_ I began to get nervous. "What are you talking about?"_

_ "I found your little Victoria's secret under the bed in here," she chuckled. "You shouldn't force it to happen, Ara. It'll happen when it happens. You don't need to have sex right now. You don't want to wind up like me,"_

_ Brantli was right. I don't think Jax and I were quite ready to become that close. I loved him, but was I ready to make love to him?_

_ "I'm gonna go head home with Opie. Merry Christmas, girly,"_

_ "Merry Christmas to you, too," she said, hugging me tight. As soon as she removed herself from the room, Jax brought himself into the room._

_ "You tired?' he asked me._

_ "No," I replied._

_ "I can make you tired," he told me._

_ "Jackson," _

_ "I'm ready, Bella. I've been ready since Thanksgiving,"_

_ "I'm still not,"_

_ "Do you think you'll ever be?"_

_ I shrugged my shoulders. "Possibly," _

_ "But…?"_

_ "I don't want to wind up like Brantli," Awe fuck, Arabella._

_ "What do you mean by that?"_

_ "Nothing. Look, can we just go back outside please?"_

_ "Sure,"_

_ I wasn't too sure what happened that night. All I know is that when I woke up the next morning, my clothes weren't on me, and I lay in the bed wrapped in the arms of Jackson Teller._

**A/N: Here's the three chapters I promised! The next one is going to be really, really hard to write. I'm mentally preparing myself for it. You guys are going to be surprised, to say the least. Hope you liked all the chapters I posted tonight. Thanks for making it all the way to chapter 16 with me. This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I appreciate all the support. Love always.**


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**A/N: Before I begin this chapter, I'm warning you to grab a large box of tissues and set them next to you. You will be using them for this one and next. I apologize in advanced.**

**Chapter Seventeen**

"_Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. ~Author Unknown_

_New Year's Eve reluctantly followed after Christmas. This year had flown by, if anything. And, I was ready. I was ready to get new classes, to do a stellar job in 'Grease', pass freshman year and go onto being a sophomore, and fall even more in love with my boyfriend. Boyfriend. Man, that still felt weird to say. I was going to make the most out of this year—my year._

_ We didn't have any definite plans for tonight. My mom and dad's plan was going to be landing tomorrow morning, so Jax and I thought it might be a good thing to go over to my house and clean up. This turned out to be a bad thing, however because all we ended up doing was making out on the couch, with some occasional dusting. Heading back to the Teller's, I could tell something wasn't right. Everything seemed okay, though. There was an un-calming chill in the atmosphere despite the fact the fireplace was going._

_ "You guys doing anything special tonight?" Gemma asked us, as we made our way into the kitchen. She stood over the stove, stirring what smelt like chicken noodle soup._

_ "Nah, probably not," Jax and I both took a seat at the kitchen table._

_ "You're welcome to stay here or come to the clubhouse. I just don't want you guys roaming the streets after eleven, alright?_

_ "Yes, mother dearest," Jackson chuckled. Gemma gave him a dirty look._

_ "What's going on at the clubhouse?"_

_ "Nothing special, really. They guys are all going to be over there, and I figured that LuAnn and I would join them. We could always use another old lady,"_

_ "Tempting," I said to her. "I'm sure that's what we'll end up doing,"_

_ "Heard from your mom and dad?"_

_ "Yep, they called last night. Their plane lands tomorrow,"_

_ "I bet you'll be happy to go home, huh?"_

_ "You're hilarious," I joked._

_ "Well, you know you're welcome here anytime hun,"_

_ "I know. Thanks," I told her._

_ "Go get changed, you guys," we looked at her profoundly. "Not together, separate. It's already going on 4:30. I want to be there by at least six,"_

_ Brantli, Jax, Opie and I had managed to lock ourselves up in one of the far back rooms. Opie had brought in a bottle of Crown Royal, Absolut, and Jack Daniels as well as four shot glasses. Jax carried in a small plastic bag. I knew just what it was as soon as he placed it in front of us._

_ "And how are we going to smoke that, bro?" _

_ "Relax. There's a bong in the top drawer over there," Jax said, taking a drag off of his cigarette. Yes, because I wanted to ring the New Year in by getting high and drunk. Fantastic._

_ Brantli was happy, and I could tell. She was cleared from the doctor on Wednesday when she found out that she wasn't pregnant. Hopefully, this would be a huge wake-up call for the both of them. _

"_Are you girls going to join us?" Opie asked, looking at both Brantli and I._

_ "You can count me in," Brantli chuckled._

_ "I don't think so," I told them. Jax rolled his eyes._

_ "Seriously?"_

_ "Yes, seriously,"_

_ "At least try it," A lot of the guys in the club smoked weed—and by a lot, I mean all—and it didn't bother me. It was just something I really didn't care for, to be honest. I would do a few shots though—even after my massive hangover Monday morning._

_ "You're such a good girl. How are you with her, Jax? She doesn't smoke. She doesn't drink. She's just like Sandra Dee," Brantli joked. I knew she was joking, but it still hurt. _

_ "Guys, back off. If she doesn't want to smoke, she doesn't have to," Jax took a hit._

_ "No, I will. Pass it over," I couldn't believe I was doing this. I took a hit, mimicking what Jax had just done. My head began to fill lighter, and my eyes started watering. "Fuck!" I exclaimed, coughing soon after. Opie opened up the bottle of Absolut and poured the liquid into each one of the small shot glasses. "_

_Now, this is a party,"_

_ Brantli, Jax, and Opie were on their way to getting high and drunk before they knew it. I was designated the baby sitter, after realizing that I probably wasn't meant to smoke like that. Colton burst into the back room and began laughing at us. "They're turning on the countdown right now. You guys might want to come out,"_

_ They were fucked if any of the adults smelt weed or booze on them. I handed each of them a piece of gum from my purse—with Jax wanting to kiss me soon after. He was hilarious when he was drunk—randomly talking about the weirdest things. I took my body spray out and wasted almost the entire bottle on the three of them._

_ Clay wasn't stupid though, and he could tell as soon as they walked out into the rec room of the clubhouse. "You guys blazing up back there?"_

_ Jax, Brantli, and Opie starting laughing, as Clay joined in. "Sit down before you hurt yourselves," he told them. _

_ They did as they were told, taking unoccupied seats on the floor. We were soon seated in front of the small television. All of the guys were dressed in their cuts, and wore Happy New Year hat's on their head. Jax handed me a pair of glasses with a 9 and a 3 on them, along with a Happy New Year tiara. I placed it on top of my crimped hair, and scooted closer to him. Gemma passed out empty glasses and noise makers. Chibs, Colton, Braison and Bobby were in charge of the confetti, and Tig handed each of the teenagers a container of silly string. They were mostly cramped on the couch, with some of them standing around us. LuAnn and Big Otto were seated at the bar, with Gemma and Clay alongside them Piney stood next to Tig behind the couch. Alyssa and Paisley sat close to Braison on the floor. Paisley was beginning to get sleepy, as he cuddled up against Alyssa's chest. _

_ "Good evening, guys. There are only a few more minutes to go before it's officially 1993!" Dick Clark—the host of Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve—announced. He was reporting live from Time's Square in New York City—a place that I was going to be someday. _

_ "I would love to go there on New Year's Eve," I spoke aloud amongst the guys._

_ "That would be pretty sweet," Gemma said, taking another sip of her beer. _

_ "We're going to start the countdown clock now. 59, 58, 57, 56…"_

_ Jax pulled me closer to him. I felt bad for most of the guys that didn't have anyone to kiss on New Year's Eve. They all deserved someone. They were all nice, sweet, genuine guys. "30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24…" Clay grabbed three bottles of champagne from behind the bar. "19, 18, 17, 16…"_

_ "Here we go!" Bobby yelled._

_ "10, 9, 8," we were all counting out loud now. "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!" as the ball dropped, the champagne exploded, the confetti went flying in the air, the silly string began landing on people, noise makers went off, and Jax kissed me on the lips—one of our longest kisses to date._

_ "I love you. Happy new year,"_

_ "Happy New Year to you, too,"_

_ "Happy 1993, guys!" Brantli yelled out loud, as Gemma walked around pouring champagne in our glasses. We toasted to the new year, in hopes that it would be somewhat better than last._

_**January, 1993**_

_Waking up that morning though, I could feel an uneasy feeling settle over me. I didn't know if it was from the champagne or from the rush of it being another year, but something prompted me to shoot out of bed. Walking into the rec room of the clubhouse, most of the guys' eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Something had gone terribly wrong. Everyone was there except the two guys that always were—Colton and Chibs._

_ "Hey, baby. How are you?" Tig asked me._

_ "What's going on?" I asked him. I could feel my heart sink into my butt._

_ "You should probably sit down," Clay said, clearing his throat._

_ "Clay, what happened? Where's my brother?" I sighed. _

_ "Arabella,"_

_ My thought process stopped dead in its tracks. I knew what was coming, and I prepared for the worst. "Where the fuck is Colton?!"_

_ Gemma looked at me, and let a tear fall from her face. "He's not here, sweetie,"_

_ "What do you…?" I couldn't even finish my sentence._

_ "Something really bad happened last night. All of the guys got involved. There were shots fired unintentionally, and your brother jumped out in front to protect Jax," Clay began to explain. "He was admitted into the hospital this morning for bullet wounds. It went straight through him, sweetie," _

_ "But he's okay, right?" I asked. I could feel my eyes become heavy with tears. "He's just at the hospital, right?_

_ Clay shook his head. "He passed away this morning, honey,"_


End file.
